Push pull

[Maxine73]

My fiance has eupd and I am finding the push pull.side hard to cope with  does anyone else have this problem and how do you cope .

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Maxine73,



I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that. A pwBPD want intimacy and can't sustain healthy adult intimacy when we become close and push us away. The distance then triggers the fear of abandonment, what a pwBPD fear the most and they pull us closer. The push / pull behavior from a pwBPD can feel like crazy making behavior to the non-disordered person.

Do you get some time for yourself for selfcare? Do you have a family member or friend that you can turn to when it's difficult to cope?

[waverider]

Are there any particular examples you could give to help illustrate how these traits are being exhibited in your case?

It is hard to stop someone else from exhibiting push pull, but you can limit how much it affects you.