Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 10, 2025, 12:56:06 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
I feel so much pain and confusion
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: I feel so much pain and confusion (Read 508 times)
confusedmama
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1
I feel so much pain and confusion
«
on:
June 22, 2016, 11:14:33 PM »
My 17 year old step daughter has never been an easy child to raise but she is wonderful, sweet, kind and thoughtful except when she isn't. She can also be destructive, rude and selfish. I just learned that my child has BPD. She has left our care and is now living with her biological mother. Her Bio mom has no rules and allows drug use, alcohol and boys without consequence. I am desperate to understand what is motivating my teenager to leave us. What we can do to help her understand that we love her beyond measure and we want her to come home. If anyone has any advice about how to create a safe place for my BPD child please share. I want her to know she is unconditionally loved. Thank you for you help
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Naughty Nibbler
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 1727
Re: I feel so much pain and confusion
«
Reply #1 on:
June 22, 2016, 11:52:37 PM »
HEY CONFUSEDMANA
Sorry about the problems with your step daughter. I can tell you have a lot of love for her. Is she in therapy and perhaps getting treatment for BPD?  :)oes her bio mom have BPD or some other mental disorder?
Quote from: CONFUSEDMANA
Her Bio mom has no rules and allows drug use, alcohol and boys without consequence. I am desperate to understand what is motivating my teenager to leave us.
You sound like a responsible parent and responsible parents need to establish boundaries, even with teenagers without disorders. I suspect she likes the lack of boundaries that bio mom affords her. What led to her moving to bio mom's home?
Below are some links to information you might find helpful right now.
Here is are links to info. about Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG):
https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=82926.0
Here are links to threads about boundaries:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0
Logged
lbjnltx
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: widowed
Posts: 7757
we can all evolve into someone beautiful
Re: I feel so much pain and confusion
«
Reply #2 on:
June 28, 2016, 07:39:36 AM »
Hi confusedmama,
So glad you are here looking for info and telling your story, we get it.
Having a teen with traits of BPD is so very challenging and confusing... .what is teen behavior and what is caused by the disorder... .? The truth is... .we can't really know. What we do know is that the responses to unhealthy, unsafe, and self destructive acts needs to be the same. Boundaries, consequences, and support are appropriate for all of the above.
Having another adult undermine our efforts to teach and support our kids in healthy ways is frustrating beyond comprehension. Does your stepdaughter stay in your home at all? Is there parental alienation going on at the biomom's house?
I look forward to your reply.
lbjnltx
Logged
BPDd-13 Residential Treatment -
keep believing in miracles
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
I feel so much pain and confusion
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...