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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Is my her new bf jealous? Or is ex playing games ?  (Read 445 times)
Splitblack4good
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 452



« on: August 01, 2016, 05:20:10 AM »

As per previous threads of exgf on holiday with replacement .

My ex has text a mutual freind and asked if she knew I'd been spying on my replacments FB . My ex knew that is were I found out she was lying . Then said he's been blocked now on hers aswell coz we are fed with it . We want to put pics of us together on it but worried he may still see them some how ! .

What she's trying to gain from this I don't know ?
Is she trying for a reaction ?
Or is the replacement getting abit insecure about all this and wanted to claim some sort of satisfaction of she's mine now !

Either way I'm not going to react or go on FB I'm staying strong and I told my ex before she left over text that I just want to get on with my life and I'm glad she's happy with her new love of her life. And to enjoy her holiday .

It hurt like hell to say it but need to protect my son and me .
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married21years
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2016, 05:31:47 AM »

hi look at this

www.outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/proxy-recruitment

by painting you black to others they are able to do this

happened to me Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

stay safe!
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Splitblack4good
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 452



« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2016, 08:27:01 AM »

I often thought that I should warn my replacment about my ex last week and I'm so glad I didn't .
1st reason being I feel to detached to bring myself to care and just carry on with my happiness it's not my problem .

2nd my replacement knew we were still together and just had a baby together . My ex I can imagine pushed for it but replacment missed all red flags  Red flag/bad  (click to insert in post) like we all did however it shows how low of a person she is also . And all the times she looked or not looked Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) at me due to shame . She's gona be in for a shock when the real BPD starts coming out . I've never seen my ex idolise someone to this extent . I know it sounds like I'm saying this in a bitter way but it's not that it's more karma is going to get her as she's a bad person
I'm not i was abused cheated on , lied to and I'm not the victim now she is !
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Site Director
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2016, 10:18:40 AM »

People triangulate. Its a nature occurrence in all relationships - its a way to relieve conflict between two people. There is healthy and unhealthy triangulation.

Here is a conventional explanation and, most importantly, tools on how to handle it.
https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle

Everyone plays a role in triangulation.

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GoingBack2OC
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
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« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2016, 11:51:12 AM »

Comment she make to that same friend was  "now he knows we are together he's going to want me more. So prob going to have to go via a contact centre to see his son "  

My ex said very similar things to me towards the end. Just honestly:  really bloated comments that were degrading to me but really just made me see her as totally out of touch with reality, and not a good person, or someone I would ever want to really spend a lifetime with.

She said things during fights; towards the end like "you're just obsessed with me because you know you'll never find anyone as pretty as me".

After she cheated, and discarded me she said "I know that you'll be ok, and I know you'll come back to me".

Talk about ego, or a mask of strong ego, inflated self worth, statements to say.

I've been in 2 other relationships (major) and dated a lot of very nice, pretty girls. I don't remember ever saying anything like this, nor have I ever had anything like this said to me... ."You'll come back to me you'll see".

Just a little, um, crazy.
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