Is she just playing games?

[bpdmom1]

What is this?
 Call last night from BPD d that if we don't pick her up she will kill herself.  Drove 30mins in the middle of the night to pick her up.  Found all her lamictal and Tylenol dumped on the kitchen counter.  She was now calm and I put the pills back in the container and brought her home. 

Found from some friends that she was telling them she was on suicide watch (how and who I don't know as she is living by herself).  Friends were worried and sent some conversations with them that appears to be trying to get attention.  She even changed her profile picture of herself showing a pic of her crying.

Today I asked what her plans were and if I need to be worried.  She is going to hang out with a friend and assured me I don't need to worry, but confirmed that she probably would have taken the pills and called the cops on herself.  She didn't want to talk about the details.  Through the entire conversation she was doing her makeup and concerned about the button on her shirt getting fixed. 

What should I have done?  What should I do next time? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Yepanotherone]

My DD does this type of thing all the time to her friends , sending them group texts saying her goodbyes , or pictures of her razers and her self harm cuts . Generally the first thing I know anything is amiss is when I have the police at my door because her friends have called them worried about her . I have even had a frantic text from one of her friends saying " please please check on her , she's going to jump in front of a car" when in actual fact I hear my DD in fits of laughter watching a movie downstairs ! What the heck ?
There is definitely a very strong pattern of attention seeking or creating drama or whatever it is ! The difficult thing as parents is being able to tease out what is genuine distress and what is being "played on for effect". I still haven't learned those skills !
We have a family therapy session tomorrow ( at the hospital ... 5th admission in less than 12 months !  )  and I've already asked the therapist if we can focus on what her behaviours might actually lead to in the longer term with her friends . She doesn't seem to get it . Or maybe she does get it , but just can't seem to stop .

[bpdmom1]

Update.  She decided that she needed help and reached out to her life coach who gave her the name of a short term facility.  She then called stating she wants to go to a place without therapy like a nice resort and what her life coach gave her won't work for her. 

[wendydarling]

Hi BPDmom1

So very sorry to hear your news and hope you sleep well tonight.

'What should I have done, what should I do next time' - in hindsight BPDmom1n did you learn anything that may inform what you'd do differently in the future? I recognise you are in it and reflecting asking good questions.

My 28 DD was in crisis over periods last year till February this year. She is older than your young DD and different as they all are. 

I have entered a contract with my daughter that I will call 999 for her should she need - though I won't be rushing to the hospital as I believe from what I have learnt this encourages a repeat of the behaviour and she will get better quicker and learn as a result. That said, since June she has for the first time learnt how to avoid a crisis through a crisis prevention plan that she has herself put in place and supported by her therapist and the crisis team. 

There are things we can change and work, small steps.

WDx