I still live with my ex until our circumstances change. He is aware that I'm on this site and the purpose of this site. He says that he is glad I have someone to talk to about my "sadness" and hopes it makes me feel better.
This statement reminded me of my ex. (Combo NPD/BPD traits)
He was sort of ok going to couples counseling with me, however, always wanted it framed that he was "doing it for me."
In his mind... .
I had to be the target patient
He struggled with ever demonstrating insight when probed about his contributions to things.
I suspect it makes him feel more comfortable feeling you are getting support for
your issue of sadness. Harder for him to suspect you are getting help coping with "
his disorder/
his behavior" or such.
Probably a good thing you picked up on that and if you choose to, could be worth being sensitive to how you phrase things. Maybe you could find phrasing things as they relate to you, and your ability to cope with life. This may help him find a way to support you, or at least minimize a sense of him feeling "targeted" in some way. (Whereas it could feel impossible for him to support/tolerate you in finding ways to deal with "difficult mate" or such.)