Trying to heal and move on...

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I was in a long distance relationship with somone who I feel may have suffered rom BPD.  I moved to the area he lives in and, upon arrival, he basically broke up with me.  During our last meeting, he told me how much he loved me and that "we should have been together"  Of course, I was sitting right in front of him after moving 1200 miles to be closer.  He had just returned the previous day from a trip to New Orleans with another women... .of whom I knew nothing about until then!  But, of course, our relationship not working out was all my fault!  He told me he missed me and thought about me every day, that I was beautiful, and that we were compatible on every level possible and lastly, how much he loved me. I work within 2 miles of his house and his work, but have not heard from him or seen him since that day! He sent me a text message wishing me well.

It has been 3 months and the pain has been unbearable at times.  I have read on the subject and am in counseling, but this is the hardest breakup and heartache I have ever experienced.

[BrokenHearted59]

I was in a long distance relationship with somone who I feel may have suffered rom BPD.  I moved to the area he lives in and, upon arrival, he basically broke up with me.  During our last meeting, he told me how much he loved me and that "we should have been together"  Of course, I was sitting right in front of him after moving 1200 miles to be closer.  He had just returned the previous day from a trip to New Orleans with another women... .of whom I knew nothing about until then!  But, of course, our relationship not working out was all my fault!  He told me he missed me and thought about me every day, that I was beautiful, and that we were compatible on every level possible and lastly, how much he loved me. I work within 2 miles of his house and his work, but have not heard from him or seen him since that day! He sent me a text message wishing me well.

It has been 3 months and the pain has been unbearable at times.  I have read on the subject and am in counseling, but this is the hardest breakup and heartache I have ever experienced.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi Brokenhearted59-

And welcome!  I'm sorry you're in the middle of that, it is very painful and confusing, although it's not unique around here, we've all been there and we understand.  It's great you're in counseling and have been reading, and we can be a good part of your grieving and detaching support too, a whole lot of people who can relate.  I encourage you to read posts and articles here, and tell us more of your story and where you're at emotionally when you want.

Here's a collection of articles that you will likely relate to right now: https://bpdfamily.com/portfolio-broken

Take care of you!

[heartandwhole]

Hi Brokenhearted59,

I'd like to join    fromheeltoheal and welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm very sorry to hear about your breakup. That is so painful. I can relate very much to your situation, as I was in a very similar one. Fortunately for me, we broke up before I could move to another country to be with him, so I was at least spared that stressor on top of the already obvious one. My heart goes out to you, because I know how hurtful it is to experience the abrupt turnarounds and changes in feelings of someone with BPD. It's a real shock to the system.  

You've found a great place for support. The members here really understand what you are going through, and the site has tons of tools and resources that will help things get better. Things really do get better—they certainly have for me, and they can for you, too. These breakups tend to hurt much more than "normal" breakups because the connection between the pwBPD and us can be very emotionally loaded. That was definitely my experience, and I needed help (therapy, no contact, this community) to recover from it.

   Fromheeltoheal linked some very important information that can help you understand what you have been through. I found the article on "Surviving A Breakup When Your Partner Has Borderline Personality Disorder" especially enlightening when I first came here.

Aside from therapy, do you have a support system around you—new friends perhaps? How long were you together with your partner?

Keep writing. It helps to tell your story. We're here for you.

heartandwhole