Another night of BPD drama

[Depression = 72% of members]

Took J (son's aunt) to Taco Bell, as we waited for or food (son's mother) and her bf walk in, she grabs (our son) from me, walks out of the restaurant and all the way to the end of the frightming , about 200 feet away. (Aunt) says I think you better go get (son), she's leaving. We get our food and go to my car and wait and I can't see (mom) or (son) so i start walking that way. His food getting cold I walked to (mom) and asked to take him and feed him. She says "no" walks all the way back to Taco Bell to hand (son) to her bf. She then said she would keep him, I said fine, what about communication, she said I would need to go through her bf. I said he has nothing to do with our son. She said she's going to marry him. I said fine, I got in my car to leave and she brings him back to my window and says take him. Her bf asks how I'm feeling and I said none of your fn business. If he truly cared about my health he would convince (mom) to be a mother.
She told me not to swear at her and her bf and God would fix me, seriously? She abandoned our son and I'm the one that needs fixing?

Everything she does and says makes no sense, she said she just got done working out, she can exercise but she can't take care of our son?

Up is down, left is right, right is wrong, it's just too much for me to comprehend.

[JerryRG]

Took J (son's aunt) to Taco Bell, as we waited for or food (son's mother) and her bf walk in, she grabs (our son) from me, walks out of the restaurant and all the way to the end of the frightming , about 200 feet away. (Aunt) says I think you better go get (son), she's leaving. We get our food and go to my car and wait and I can't see (mom) or (son) so i start walking that way. His food getting cold I walked to (mom) and asked to take him and feed him. She says "no" walks all the way back to Taco Bell to hand (son) to her bf. She then said she would keep him, I said fine, what about communication, she said I would need to go through her bf. I said he has nothing to do with our son. She said she's going to marry him. I said fine, I got in my car to leave and she brings him back to my window and says take him. Her bf asks how I'm feeling and I said none of your fn business. If he truly cared about my health he would convince (mom) to be a mother.
She told me not to swear at her and her bf and God would fix me, seriously? She abandoned our son and I'm the one that needs fixing?

Everything she does and says makes no sense, she said she just got done working out, she can exercise but she can't take care of our son?

Up is down, left is right, right is wrong, it's just too much for me to comprehend.

[Confused108]

Take her to court. She is unstable and unfit. Get custody of your son. I'm sure they will give it to you. Also get a notebook and record everything she does. Make sure you get the date and time of this. Get it notirized. This can then be used as evidence against her. I wouldn't trust her with my son no way. Good luck

[JerryRG]

Thanks Confused108

I'm still having a difficult time thinking about her behavior, again trying to understand so I can anticipate her next move. Her sister in law, mother and brother are all extremely upset at what she did.

Our son is exposed to this craziness and she just thinks she's cool. Her bf is just as delusional.

I will report this to my lawyer and document it too.

Each time I see my exgf she gets stranger, her eyes were sxary, it wasn't like she was crying, just glassy and strange. I don't have a clue what she's doing.

I will keep our son away from her, she is unstable and unsafe.

[Confused108]

Yes she is and apparently so is her boyfriend. I was in Law Enforcment many years ago and I advise you to get custody of your child legally. Don't wait until it's too late. I don't mean to scare you but dealing with 2 crazy ppl now ... .do t let it happen where you say one day I should have done something sooner. Good luck.

[DazedandConfus3d]

Yes she is and apparently so is her boyfriend. I was in Law Enforcment many years ago and I advise you to get custody of your child legally. Don't wait until it's too late. I don't mean to scare you but dealing with 2 crazy ppl now ... .do t let it happen where you say one day I should have done something sooner. Good luck.

As a social work professional I'd also urge you to takes steps to remove your children from a situation where that will be constantly retraumatized.  Recall that BPD and other personality disorders are all rooted in childhood trauma, and that generational trauma is a real thing- as someone still struggling to heal from the wounds still lurking from my own experience with deeply dysfunctional family systems that cross generational lines, the best thing you can do for your kids is to make as sure as you can that they are not exposed to situations and experiences that will leave them with lifelong traumas. 

[flourdust]

If I understand your story correctly, your ex appeared unexpectedly and tried to take your son away with her? And you agreed, at first?

This is not OK. Although I understand that your custody situation may be kind of ambiguous now, I would never, EVER permit any kind of unscheduled arbitrary handoff like this to occur. Do not let her just walk off with the kid unannounced, and call the police if you need to. You need to be more assertive in these situations.

[JerryRG]

Thanks everyone, mother took our son from my lap without saying one word to me or his aunt. I figured she was just going to hold him for a few minutes but she left before I knew it. I didn't think she would take off with him. I followed her soon after she left the building.

This is just more proof of her instability, I do not believe my son is safe with her or her bf, the bf has already made plans to give my son away.

This is very disturbing, and everyone I tell this to is equally upset and concerned. I will not give my son back to her, she could sneak into his daycare and I can ask if she not be allowed to take him. I'm the one who got him into daycare and I'm paying the bill, maybe the staff will prevent her access, maybe not.

My sister was so upset, she said "that poor child will be damaged permanently if this doesn't end soon"