mental/physical pain and held captive

[AaronB]

Today was one of the most horrific days with my partner.
I'm use to some verbal abuse. But today I had to restrain her from hurting herself and me.  In all honesty in the couple of years together, this is the first time she has drew blood in a dispute.
Most read and experienced would know that there's a common fear of abandonment, but this was the first time I couldn't extricate myself from the situation to stop it from getting worse.  I was locked in a bathroom.
I'm honestly tired of thinking about it.  The timely matter of this all is all within the hours leading to seeing her councillor for support.
I've dealt with severity for months, but this is the worst so far. I'm scared and worried.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[livednlearned]

Hi AaronB,

Having to lock yourself in the bathroom does sound scary. If you feel comfortable talking about it, let us know what started it, and what she did to draw blood. Did she eventually leave the home?

Did she end up seeing her therapist? Does her therapist know she is BPD?

LnL

[Mutt]

Hi AaronB,



I'm sorry to hear that. I bet that it took awhile to process this as adrenaline flew through you. Is this the first time that she went to a counselor? Is that the catalyst for this dispute?

I would feel worried too, but there are many of us here that have been were you are and can relate with, you're not alone. Are you safe now?

[AaronB]

Thanks for the replies guys.  It's been a slow and rough recovery through this event.  I've been struggling to mentally get on with my daily activities.
Sorry I guess I didn't make myself completely clear in my post.  To allow myself to calm down and to think clearly, I try to leave the situation for a short period of time.  My partner knows this and took off with my belongings to stop me from leaving.  This lead to her locking me in the bathroom with her.
What started this whole situation would be a mixture of things: bad dreams, her knowing that I would be leaving shortly, her feeling like I'm not listening, ongoing self-worth issues.
Once her verbal abuse isn't gaining the results she wants, there's a barrage of hitting herself against walls, hitting herself with her fists and now violently shoving me around the house.  The blood drawn was from defending myself and from her trying to stop hitting herself.
Her father finally arrived on the scene and was able to take her to her counselling session.  She's had a few sessions in the last couple of month and looks like she has finally been assigned a case worker from Youth Axis (which is a huge relief).
Does anyone feel like it goes well for a while and then all of a sudden there's a hectic episode that creeps up on you when you least expect it?  It's so hard to find normality/stability for longer than a week.  I'm become good at talking calmly and open to her thoughts, but after these occasions I don't treat myself well.

[livednlearned]

It sounds like you did your best in a very tough situation. She hurt you, and she hurt herself. Those are both abusive things to do, and most people don't have skills to handle those situations without lots of training and practice in high-conflict situations.

after these occasions I don't treat myself well.

What happens after an event like this?

Have you spent time with her since the episode? If so, how did it go?

[Mutt]

Hi AaronB,

Once her verbal abuse isn't gaining the results she wants, there's a barrage of hitting herself against walls, hitting herself with her fists and now violently shoving me around the house. 

She escalates, did you recently set new boundaries?