Struggling

[RR4U]

It's been some time since I last posted. This week has been hard. It started off with my Husband mentioning that he looked at a place for rent. This brought up a bunch of emotions.  I agreed that this is something we need to do. We have been in limbo for years in this codependent relationship.  After exploring options we made the decision that I will go to my parents for now.  Financially easier.  He kept asking what this was going to accomplish, I could only respond that I can't take the name calling anymore. He agrees that he says things to hurt me.  Which is new it's always been it's my fault.  I was even more surprised when he mentioned couples counseling again.  Especially since this will be our third time at it. But this time he says he's in it for the right reasons.  His therapist suggested it to him. He also said his Therapist can recommend someone.  He trusts him so that may be a plus too.  My individual therapist is concerned that he will manipulate me again things may never change.  I'm trying to be strong. Any advise, words of encouragement would be very helpful.

Thanks for listening. 

[Lucky Jim]

We have been in limbo for years in this codependent relationship.  After exploring options we made the decision that I will go to my parents for now.  Financially easier.

Hey RR4U, I support your efforts to take a break by going to your parents and by trying something different in order to break the codependency cycle.  Well done!  It's easy to lose perspective in a BPD r/s, in my experience, because one can forget what normal is.  Spending time away from your H may help to clarify your thinking as to what is the right path for you going forward.  Keep us posted!

LuckyJim

[Mutt]

Hi RR4U,

Why does he question you for wanting to go to your parents but he's Ok with looking for a place for himself. What's the difference? One person will not be in the family home, it doesn't matter if it's you or him. Maybe it was a threat but it sounds like he could be scared that you're leaving. When you say strength, do you feel guilty because it looks like he's making an effort?