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Author Topic: She contacted me on FB through a fake profile and I need support  (Read 2967 times)
julie frances lloyd
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« Reply #30 on: November 30, 2016, 05:57:49 PM »
 
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Grey Kitty
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« Reply #31 on: November 30, 2016, 06:09:54 PM »
Quote from: sweet tooth on November 30, 2016, 05:42:09 PM
You're right. It's a hard pill to swallow, but you're right.

  Yeah, it is tough.

It might be easier if you just try to accept that she is like this now, and could someday change.

For one thing, all of us (whether we have BPD, other mental illness, or are normal/healthy!) need some time to come to peace with a romantic breakup and be able to be friendly. Weeks, maybe months or even years. And that if we stay in too close a contact, or stay too obsessed during that time, it is prolonged.

You don't have to shut her out forever... .all you have to do is back away from these clearly messed up ways of reaching out. And if you don't hear anything at all for months, you can reach out to her again then as a friend.

And this applies to you too--in a few months, you will probably find a lot less emotional charge from these weird shadow FB contacts, and be more able to be just a friend to her... .making it easier on both of you should this happen.

Alternatively, full recovery from BPD is possible, but a long process, and pretty rare. Please don't hold your breath for that.
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #32 on: November 30, 2016, 07:46:02 PM »
Quote from: Yello on November 30, 2016, 05:54:20 PM
It sounds like you would like a closer connection with your friend? How can you empower yourself to reach out?

That's not happening. She's too toxic/mentally ill to reach out to. She also ordered me not to contact her again. I also believe she has the potential to be dangerous from a legal standpoint. She had her ex-husband thrown in jail for seven days in a sneaky and dubious manner. It's just not worth it.
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #33 on: November 30, 2016, 07:47:36 PM »
Thank you for your insights, Grey. My T expressed similar sentiments.
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julie frances lloyd
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« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2016, 07:51:21 PM »
I see.
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julie frances lloyd
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« Reply #35 on: November 30, 2016, 07:55:10 PM »
I'm so used to speaking to people in person, I'm not sure I'm going to get a handle on this message board thing.
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julie frances lloyd
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« Reply #36 on: November 30, 2016, 07:57:05 PM »
The whole anonymous thing throws me too.
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julie frances lloyd
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« Reply #37 on: November 30, 2016, 07:59:11 PM »
 nite
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #38 on: November 30, 2016, 08:24:57 PM »
Quote from: Yello on November 30, 2016, 07:59:11 PM
nite

Good night... .
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FallBack!Monster
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« Reply #39 on: November 30, 2016, 08:56:34 PM »
I do not have a fb account. My ex created  one as me. send msgs to all my other exs ,family, coworkers, and business associates.  They punish you longer than you knew of them. Was thinking of creating new account but not until I'm off the grid.
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #40 on: November 30, 2016, 10:35:06 PM »
Quote from: NoGd4rs on November 30, 2016, 08:56:34 PM
I do not have a fb account. My ex created  one as me. send msgs to all my other exs ,family, coworkers, and business associates.  They punish you longer than you knew of them. Was thinking of creating new account but not until I'm off the grid.

That's crazy!
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julie frances lloyd
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« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2016, 09:30:34 AM »
Sorry to hear that it sounds like you have been having a tough time. Here is some emotional support 
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2016, 10:56:38 AM »
I sent a final message to the profile.  I basically said that I still care about her but I can't continue this.  Then I blocked the profile.
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lovenature
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« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2016, 05:21:24 PM »
Excerpt
Then I blocked the profile.

Good for you.
Remember to block anything else you can too; total NC is the best way out of the FOG.
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2016, 10:49:50 PM »
I don't know why, but I don't have the heart to block her phone number or her actual FB profile.
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Grey Kitty
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« Reply #45 on: December 02, 2016, 12:08:44 PM »
Quote from: sweet tooth on December 01, 2016, 10:49:50 PM
I don't know why, but I don't have the heart to block her phone number or her actual FB profile.

If you aren't getting unwanted, inappropriate, manipulative, or abusive contacts through either of those, you don't need to. This kind of blocking is to protect you.

Q: Are you FB friends? Do you look at her FB profile/wall/pics/etc?
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sweet tooth
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« Reply #46 on: December 02, 2016, 12:40:39 PM »
She deactivated her FB for a long time. After reactiving her account, she immediately deleted my friend who introduced us and myself from her Friend List. I don't look at her page anymore. It causes me too much emotional distress so I just don't do it. She doesn't have a lot visible to see anyway. I know this is horrible, but knowing she put on about 40-50 lbs from the day I met her actually makes me feel a little better. She got pretty dumpy.
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lovenature
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« Reply #47 on: December 02, 2016, 05:20:01 PM »
Excerpt
I don't know why, but I don't have the heart to block her phone number or her actual FB profile.

You know what is best for you in your mind, it takes time for the heart to catch up.

Blocking isn't just about maintaining NC, it is also you confirming a decision you know is best for you; a commitment to detach and heal.
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BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: She contacted me on FB through a fake profile and I need support
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