Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
July 10, 2025, 04:41:47 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
84
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Down
« previous next »
  Print  
Author Topic: She contacted me on FB through a fake profile and I need support  (Read 2971 times)
julie frances lloyd
^
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 93
« Reply #30 on: November 30, 2016, 05:57:49 PM »
 
Logged
Grey Kitty
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182
« Reply #31 on: November 30, 2016, 06:09:54 PM »
Quote from: sweet tooth on November 30, 2016, 05:42:09 PM
You're right. It's a hard pill to swallow, but you're right.

  Yeah, it is tough.

It might be easier if you just try to accept that she is like this now, and could someday change.

For one thing, all of us (whether we have BPD, other mental illness, or are normal/healthy!) need some time to come to peace with a romantic breakup and be able to be friendly. Weeks, maybe months or even years. And that if we stay in too close a contact, or stay too obsessed during that time, it is prolonged.

You don't have to shut her out forever... .all you have to do is back away from these clearly messed up ways of reaching out. And if you don't hear anything at all for months, you can reach out to her again then as a friend.

And this applies to you too--in a few months, you will probably find a lot less emotional charge from these weird shadow FB contacts, and be more able to be just a friend to her... .making it easier on both of you should this happen.

Alternatively, full recovery from BPD is possible, but a long process, and pretty rare. Please don't hold your breath for that.
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #32 on: November 30, 2016, 07:46:02 PM »
Quote from: Yello on November 30, 2016, 05:54:20 PM
It sounds like you would like a closer connection with your friend? How can you empower yourself to reach out?

That's not happening. She's too toxic/mentally ill to reach out to. She also ordered me not to contact her again. I also believe she has the potential to be dangerous from a legal standpoint. She had her ex-husband thrown in jail for seven days in a sneaky and dubious manner. It's just not worth it.
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #33 on: November 30, 2016, 07:47:36 PM »
Thank you for your insights, Grey. My T expressed similar sentiments.
Logged
julie frances lloyd
^
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 93
« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2016, 07:51:21 PM »
I see.
Logged
julie frances lloyd
^
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 93
« Reply #35 on: November 30, 2016, 07:55:10 PM »
I'm so used to speaking to people in person, I'm not sure I'm going to get a handle on this message board thing.
Logged
julie frances lloyd
^
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 93
« Reply #36 on: November 30, 2016, 07:57:05 PM »
The whole anonymous thing throws me too.
Logged
julie frances lloyd
^
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 93
« Reply #37 on: November 30, 2016, 07:59:11 PM »
 nite
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #38 on: November 30, 2016, 08:24:57 PM »
Quote from: Yello on November 30, 2016, 07:59:11 PM
nite

Good night... .
Logged
FallBack!Monster
Formerly AudB73, Back2Me16
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 515
« Reply #39 on: November 30, 2016, 08:56:34 PM »
I do not have a fb account. My ex created  one as me. send msgs to all my other exs ,family, coworkers, and business associates.  They punish you longer than you knew of them. Was thinking of creating new account but not until I'm off the grid.
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #40 on: November 30, 2016, 10:35:06 PM »
Quote from: NoGd4rs on November 30, 2016, 08:56:34 PM
I do not have a fb account. My ex created  one as me. send msgs to all my other exs ,family, coworkers, and business associates.  They punish you longer than you knew of them. Was thinking of creating new account but not until I'm off the grid.

That's crazy!
Logged
julie frances lloyd
^
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 93
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2016, 09:30:34 AM »
Sorry to hear that it sounds like you have been having a tough time. Here is some emotional support 
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2016, 10:56:38 AM »
I sent a final message to the profile.  I basically said that I still care about her but I can't continue this.  Then I blocked the profile.
Logged
lovenature
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731
« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2016, 05:21:24 PM »
Excerpt
Then I blocked the profile.

Good for you.
Remember to block anything else you can too; total NC is the best way out of the FOG.
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2016, 10:49:50 PM »
I don't know why, but I don't have the heart to block her phone number or her actual FB profile.
Logged
Grey Kitty
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182
« Reply #45 on: December 02, 2016, 12:08:44 PM »
Quote from: sweet tooth on December 01, 2016, 10:49:50 PM
I don't know why, but I don't have the heart to block her phone number or her actual FB profile.

If you aren't getting unwanted, inappropriate, manipulative, or abusive contacts through either of those, you don't need to. This kind of blocking is to protect you.

Q: Are you FB friends? Do you look at her FB profile/wall/pics/etc?
Logged
sweet tooth
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 781
« Reply #46 on: December 02, 2016, 12:40:39 PM »
She deactivated her FB for a long time. After reactiving her account, she immediately deleted my friend who introduced us and myself from her Friend List. I don't look at her page anymore. It causes me too much emotional distress so I just don't do it. She doesn't have a lot visible to see anyway. I know this is horrible, but knowing she put on about 40-50 lbs from the day I met her actually makes me feel a little better. She got pretty dumpy.
Logged
lovenature
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731
« Reply #47 on: December 02, 2016, 05:20:01 PM »
Excerpt
I don't know why, but I don't have the heart to block her phone number or her actual FB profile.

You know what is best for you in your mind, it takes time for the heart to catch up.

Blocking isn't just about maintaining NC, it is also you confirming a decision you know is best for you; a commitment to detach and heal.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: 1 [2]  All   Go Up
  Print  
BPDFamily.com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: She contacted me on FB through a fake profile and I need support
 « previous next »
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!