I am so aggravated by this continuance...in tears.

[Herodias]

So round and round we go... .can you tell the other attorney that he is being duped by his client? My ex is portraying me as someone who has allot of money and lives in a gated community. I live in a one bedroom apartment over looking a parking lot to a store! It's ridiculous! I keep wondering if he knew the truth about my situation and how I was used for money for years and now my ex duped me out of half of his stock money and 401k, because he lied to us and I believed him back then, would he stop the madness? I ended up paying half the separation and half the divorce and he was the adulterer! I need him to pay back the attorneys fees for this lawsuit he has against me now so I have some of my only savings back! He is the one who received a lot of money when he quit his job and didn't disclose it on his financials... .now his attorney is saying it's too late and I would have to prove fraud! Well, we know it is... I don't even want that! I just want him to do what he said in the first place and leave me alone! I cannot afford to keep paying an attorney. He is just trying to use up all of my money and it is working! I am so upset over the court system and how this just never ends! 2 years and it is not over yet! This is the 3rd case... .it is awful! His attorney knows he cannot win on this case, but he won't concede on my getting my attorneys fees reimbursed. I won't give that up and think I can win that in court... .this is so awful. I gave in the last 2 times. I refuse this time. I have too much to lose. I have nothing left! I am just in tears.

[ForeverDad]

Continuances are part of the judicial system.  Sometimes there is basis to postpone a hearing.  Once or twice may work but soon the judge gets peeved about the delay.  Judges want their cases to move along, just not as much as we do.  For them it's a job, for us it's our lives.

I would recommend you object to any requests for continuances.  Eventually you will get there.  Until then, understand it's not a justice system, it's a judicial system and technicalities often rule the day.

[heartandwhole]

Herodias, that sound awful, and I'm so sorry you are going through this. 

It takes a lot of energy to fight, and sometimes we have to weigh the costs to our wellbeing. In your shoes, I'm sure I would fight for the attorney's fees, too. How does your lawyer see your chances?

heartandwhole

[Nope]

Even if you are awarded attorneys fees you'll have to take him back to court repeatedly to have any hope of actually seeing any of the money.

Our story is just the opposite. But maybe there is a lesson in it for you... .
We are taking my DH's uBPDex back to court for more CS, for contempt, and to get some minor but necessary changes made to the custody order. We filed in June. She got a first continuance saying she needed more time to find a lawyer. Then the day before the next hearing date she filed for another continuance with a doctor's note saying she can't travel for several months for health reasons. This to.e the judge was nice enough to still give us a final court date coming up in February. Since then we've sent her a discovery requests that she has ignored and now we must get a court date for a motion to compel, but she still can't travel so I don't know how that will work but I'm sure we'll show up to court with our L a third time and she won't be there and we'll be told again she gets zero consequences. Total bill for us so far? About $5k. Total bill for her so far? $0. Because she hasn't even bothered getting an L yet. It appears the person on the offense must spend untold sums of money just to keep things moving forward. And if they stop then they have nothing. The person playing defense simply needs to obstruct until the other person runs out of money or wherewithal.

[Herodias]

  Well, his attorney just said they will dismiss the case... .meanwhile I am out money defending myself and gathering information that he should have paid for to defend himself in the first place. I have found out he lied about money he had during the marriage and I am not even asking for that! I just want him to have to pay me back for this frivolous lawsuit that he started. If I don't even try, this will set a precedence of him knowing he can waste my money in court whenever he feels like it. He paid his attorney less than one fifth of what I paid. Yes, you get what you pay for, but I need him to have to repay me so he learns a lesson. I am going to have to move forward with this... .besides, he is still in contempt. You would think he would at least pay me that money to try and get on my good side. This is really terrible how all of this works. It is disgusting how much money is wasted through divorce. I don't think it's fair people can throw frivolous lawsuits out there   
   I just learned of a friends narcissist ex has started a lawsuit over a candy bowl, a butcher block and a coat! Her lawyer said she needs to come up with money to defend herself. She said she doesn't have the items or the money to defend herself... .It is ridiculous!  This kind of thing shouldn't even be allowed.

[oshinko maki]

It is disgusting how much money is wasted through divorce. I don't think it's fair

I am so sorry for your situation.
My fear of losing money through divorce and greedy lawyers helps keep me putting divorce off.
It may be of some help to think of not what is fair, but what you can accept in order to help severe ties with your ex and any more hurt and losses in the future.
While that which is not just and fair may not be acceptable, you can still accept or be satisfied that it is what you need for now and in order to move in a positive direction. I try to use a perspective like this in my case, where many things seem so very very unfair and maddening if I think in terms of "fairness", but "acceptable" or satisfactory for now if I remind myself that I need to choose them now versus taking the risks of fighting for what I would call "fair".
I hope that simple idea, put into overly complex grammar, didn't give anyone a headache... .