I Miss Her.

[Shedd]

Well, I tried posting yesterday, maybe it got deleted because I'm not very good at this new site and it's really confusing to me.  I really miss her.  I see her at work all the time.  We broke up in January. We tried remaining friends, but she just couldn't handle being friends with an ex.  I'm miserable without her.  I saw her at work yesterday, I accidentally, almost ran into her and my heart jumped to my throat.  I still love her very much.  We were off and on for 2 years.  I had a lot of problems at the time of our relationship.  I just seem to have such horrible timing.  I lived in an apartment where I wasn't getting and sleep and work was making me so depressed.  I'm still at the same job.  I want to find a new job, but I can't seem to leave because that would mean that I am leaving her.  I made her a promise that I would never leave her, but she has cut all ties with me.  So how can I avoid being one of those people that doesn't leave her if she's forcing me to leave? I would love to rekindle our friendship at least.  Ultimately, I would like to get her back.  She told me we would have a conversation when she's ready, but I just don't think she's ever going to be ready.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[rfriesen]

I made her a promise that I would never leave her, but she has cut all ties with me.  So how can I avoid being one of those people that doesn't leave her if she's forcing me to leave?

burnerin, I'm sorry to hear this pain is continuing for you. It sounds like this relationship has put you in a very painful bind. You promised not to leave your ex, and yet she's not allowing you to stay in her life. Do you feel that releases you from your promise in any way? 

I want to find a new job, but I can't seem to leave because that would mean that I am leaving her.

Would it mean that? Would she not be able to reach you if you were at another job?

[Shedd]

Yes, I do feel like I am leaving her even though she is pushing me away. It is a very strange ordeal.  Like I know she is giving me a gift by leaving me because I just think she cheated on me.  I feel like if I were to continue to stay in the relationship things would have gotten worse and who knows how many times she would have cheated.

So in a way I look at it as a gift. Even tho it hurts, but because of this realization it's helping me move on.  She's the one who left.  Not me.  I just can't feel guilty anymore.  I told her if she ever comes back into my life I will be all accepting, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

It's hard because I just want to remain friends with her.