Introduction-Exhausted and Depressed

[vronvuitton]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to make a quick introduction. I am in with a relationship with someone with BPD. I was to the concept after meeting with our couples therapists on an individual basis. I have read several books on the matter. Initially, it was helpful to know that there was an underlying reason for all the rages, for anger being projected on me for things that I simply did not do or for incidents that did not occur, etc. but now I don't know what to do.

I am having a hard time differentiating between what are BPD traits and what is just plain verbal abuse. I am also trying to figure out when it is time to leave. I  feel like I am in a hopeless place. When things are quiet and theoretically, I know its time to have a conversation about setting boundaries etc. I am to busy trying to relish the "peaceful" moments to initiate the more difficult conversations.

I am trying to do the work to understand BPD as well as PTSD both of which my partner has, but the rages and what I feel is verbal abuses is wearing on me. I feel quite traumatized. A part of me is also starting to feel bitter about putting in so much work into understanding my partners conditions while she doesn't seek treatment or guidance herself.

I know my post is quite general but hopefully I can gain further insight by reading these message boards. Thank in advance for having a look at my post.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi vronvuitton,



I'd like to welcome  you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that. Many of us have similarities with our experiences, but our experiences are unique to us, it helps to share your experience because you don't have to go through this by yourself.

I am to busy trying to relish the "peaceful" moments to initiate the more difficult conversations.

It sounds like during the idealization phases / emotional baseline you're getting a break, what do you for self care when it's not a peaceful moment or all of the moments in general?

Topic: 6.01 | What does it mean to take care of yourself?