How do I handle anger?

[freespirit17]

Hi! Fairly new to this group. I'm seeking guidance on how to handle my BPD partner's anger. He has the tendency to physically hurt people, even the people he loves. I know this trait is very common. And as a non-BPD, our first reaction is to leave. When you return, your BPD will most likely be angry still because you left. How do I handle such situations?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Portent]

Im new but Im reading walking on eggshells and one thibg I picked out early is that its not anger. Its fear. They are scared.

Tell her that you know she is scared.

[SettingBorders]

Physical violence is very serious. Why don't you want to leave?
Compassion is the wrong reaction as long as he is treating you bad.

[Five28]

Unless you want to be his punching bag, I'd start doing whatever I could to leave. Start saving money, look for places to stay, etc. If he can get physical with those he loves, and you are one of his loves, then sooner or later you'll be on the receiving end. Check out this video. Pretty sad when a loved one abuses someone like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03HnWYb3oTs

[rosesarered777]

As someone who has been hit a number of times in her rages over the years, the rages do get more and more severe. I don't think there is any solution because she refuses to accept that it is a problem and that she needs to learn coping skills. Her constant drinking and overeating since the beginning was something I naively thought she would outgrow, not knowing that she was very mentally ill and will likely be obese soon if she continues the habit into her mid-30's.