Hi Gotbushels
It's not easy to explain, it is a general feeling. I try to maintain the best possible relationship with her; I continue to listen, to help her when she asks me for a little service (writing a letter, fixing a software issue, ... .)
The only problem we had in 12 months happened when I had to say no to the possibility of meeting her and her fiancé at a party. She was very angry and she expressed a lot of self-loathing, saying everybody rejected her and despised her.
We usually speak friendly about her future, her kids, her holidays, her pets (she is a bit self-centered
)
I hoped she wrote something more personal and friendly and not an email sent to anyone out of pure politeness.
e.g.
"Hello pgri, I hope you are well and that you have a good day; It did not work between us (your fault) but I hope you will also succeed in finding someone.
You will soon be retired and it would be nice to have a good person by your side. Take care of you and see you soon"
I'm angry against her because she simulates friendship and angry against me because I still think she can be a good person (the fantasy of friendship)