Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
July 08, 2025, 02:22:55 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Does anybody tend to "forget" that our partners are disordered?  (Read 535 times)
michel71
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 535


« on: December 28, 2016, 01:24:33 PM »

I do. I have to remind myself that she does not process things like I would. I forget that she sees the relationship through a completely different lens.

I constantly have to remind myself of that especially on an emotional day like today when she is moving out.

I come back to this BOARD again and again to remain centered.

I am out of town so thank God I don't have to watch it unfold in front of my eyes. At least that is a blessing.

Reaching out for support today. Just need to get through it and stay in reality.


Logged
ShadowA
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 123


« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2016, 01:30:49 PM »

I actually wrote this very topic a while back.

I tend to forget whenever we are together. However when things don't work out, I end up remembering.

I think I forget  because I have false fantasies and hopes that it'll be better the next time around.

Logged
oshinko maki
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 51



« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2016, 01:35:45 PM »

I am able to keep it in mind pretty consistently now, but years ago I would be surprised frequently, particularly at the lying and paranoid reactions.
Logged
vortex of confusion
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3234



« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2016, 01:46:25 PM »

Yep, I forget a lot, especially after he has a good day with the kids.

Hang in there!

Whenever I momentarily forget and try to relate to him normally, it doesn't take long for him to say or do something to remind me that he doesn't not see things like a normal person does.
Logged
ortac77
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Living together
Posts: 318



« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2016, 02:17:29 PM »

i try to forget, but am beginning to realise that things are never normal and never can be normal. He has just apologised for ruining my birthday, and yes I know it is his illness that does it and I am meant to be sympathetic, but no today I am angry and an apology is not going to wash - disordered or not it can make me disordered - I have emotions too so he can go to hell and if he wallows in guilt so be it - I am going out tomorrow and am determined to have a nice day on my own.

Out of sympathy today and just maybe for good
Logged

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!