Anyone else feel they need to delete their computer history/cookies?

[WifeInOz]

When I am done posting here I have to delete the history on my Apple laptop because from time to time he checks it... .  oh Lord! If he ever saw that I was writing on here   Anyone else have to live like a covert operation?

 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kiwigirl]

Thankfully my space is mine & trusted.
I really feel for you needing to delete history, everyone needs a safe place with like minded people

[michel71]

Constantly! I still do even though she has moved out! She invaded my privacy twice so I lived in fear. Horrible. That alone means that something is very wrong, BPD or not. Who wants to live a life like that?

[Stolen]

Look up "eBlaster" and think about how you'd feel finding that on your computer... .

Nasty stuff.

[Tattered Heart]

I do most of my logging in at work or while he isn't home. I don't have the email I used to sign up for this site anywhere on my phone or computer. He would really have to dig in to find anything. I do delete text messages that he would interpret as flirting or being inappropriate with friends even though to someone else it would just be friends joking together like normal.

Oh I also block him from seeing some of my fb posts. If I share a meme with humor he doesn't like or a political post that will set him off I know if I don't block him he will accuse me trying to embarrass him or that I'm immature or looking for attention or he will turn the joke into a serious topic and go on about it for hours. It just makes life easier. I unblock him for the things I'm ok with him seeing and he never knows the difference. Plus it looks like I'm posting as normal since he can see some.

[Notwendy]

I keep my computer off and one needs a password to sign on. It's not just for me but also it would be really hurtful if my H found it. He wouldn't understand- would think I was being cruel and unfair.

He'd not understand that it benefits me to post and read. It's a reality check for me to be able to know what is going on and not deal with the gobeldygook of trying to talk about it with him which leads to circular arguments.

I did decide to hide something. It's innocent which is why I hid it. He gets jealous and suspicious of any guy - past or present. Somehow if he finds out about a guy I knew even before we met- he acts like I am cheating on him or assumes I slept with the guy. I have never given him a reason to think I was cheating.

I found some prom pictures at my parents house. I did not meet my H until years later but somehow my H still gets triggered by the idea that I liked someone. The boy was a friend. The girl in the picture ( me)  was innocent. I felt the need to protect that part of me from suspicion. I didn't want to be interrogated about the guy and asked if I slept with him. I did not, but if I did - it was not his place to judge. I wanted to keep that memory of a happy time to myself and not have it associated with an argument. I hid the pictures. I'm not ready to share them.

[WifeInOz]

Wendy and Tatteredheart its like reading my own life. WOW! Thank you all so much for posting! I do the same thing with fb posts... .One time I took a picture of myself and used a filter for fun. I posted it as my profile picture and he went off on me on how vain I am and how I am only looking for attention.

[Notwendy]

I've been involved in my kids schools and most of the time, it is with other moms. My H has shown no interest in this kind of thing. But it is modern times and there are dads involved too. Once I got a text from a dad about a school related thing. I know it was nothing- I am friends with his wife and our kids are friends. Yet, when I saw the text, I had a wave of fear- because I didn't want to deal with the suspicion, the questions that have followed such a thing.

The problem with this is that we start to be sneaky and hide things to avoid these confrontations and that looks suspicious. It isn't good to walk on eggshells. Our goal is to be more authentic and have less fear. I am working at that. But sometimes, I just don't want to deal with it. Easier to hide a text.

[Skip]

I have my browser preferences set to erase my history, passwords, and cookies every time I close my browser.

I don't have any family member to worry about. I just do it because it is smart. Just reading the news will load your computer up with ad trackers.

[purekalm]

I do the same as Skip. It helps your computer and phone run faster if you delete history and clear caches and NEVER let an app or site remember your password. I do have family that uses my computer all the time though.

[WifeInOz]

  Stolen

Eblaster sounds like a nightmare  I hope that didn't happen to you! Notwendy you have my life , wow! I so so know everything you are saying... .this life is so hard. I love my husband very much... .but at times I wish I had the resources to leave. I have nothing, not even my own car. I use his because he has a work truck that his company gave him. My husband convinced me to sell my used car last summer because the work it needed would cost more money than it was worth. *sigh* Im a religious and spiritual person so I will pray for all of us.

[Notwendy]

E blaster does sound like a nightmare. I delete history periodically but also like the option if I am working on something and accidentally close a site down.

There's really nothing to see in my e mail/ chat history. What would be irritating is having something read into it that isn't there. I would not want to hurt anyone who spied on my posts here, but there isn't anything on here that I haven't tried to say directly yet projection/denial is such that I don't think it's been heard. I've found boundaries and being less reactive to me more effective than attenpts to "talk the issues out".