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Author Topic: Please tell me this is over...  (Read 627 times)
FallenOne
Formerly Matt.S
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: January 12, 2017, 11:01:14 AM »

Some of you have probably read my story on here before, about my girlfriend of four years who I broke up with in the psych hospital back in March, went back to her a few months later, only to have her leave me 3 times in a 5 month period.

The most recent of which was on December 19th over a small argument. Pulled a 180, turned on me, and then filed a PFA against me...

Well, I had my hearing this morning. I accepted a deal that both of the attorneys worked out where she gets a 2 year no contact order, I get my weapons returned to me, and it's also illegal for her to contact me... My attorney told me that accepting this deal was the better way to go since PFA's in Pennsylvania are barely ever dismissed. So, I accepted the deal rather than dealing with a hearing and risking a longer order and losing my stuff... .

Since she completely destroyed any chance at talking it out or restoring any trust by doing this, I truly hope that I never hear from her again... She is already with her female lover (who she has also broken up with multiple times... .*rolls eyes*)

She will be fined $1000 for making any contact with me and violating her own order, however she can revoke the order anytime she pleases.

I have no desire to speak to her ever again and I have lost all respect and feelings for her after doing something like this to me.

So, I hope that this is truly what she wanted because I am done, and I hope that she is done as well.
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Hisaccount
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Relationship status: divorced
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« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2017, 01:21:48 PM »

I am sure you are full of mixed emotions over this, but it really is for the best.
Time will show you that.

You might be the lucky one here compared to those of use still forced to have contact.
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GlennT
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Relationship status: Single
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« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2017, 01:30:17 PM »

No. You must be more vigilant now, and thread carefully. She has BPD and it will be harder for her to do NC long-term, than for you. This may trigger her abandonment issues into painting you white again, after painting the girlfriend black, and therefore recycle you in the future. If she revokes her order, and you reunite, she may paint you black again, then, she could make things far worse for you. Jail is a terrible mind-space to be in. She could still lie to the police, claiming you harassed her, if you even look at her funny. Run, walk, limp, crawl, away, as fast as you can if she ever comes near you. Record all calls, and if she ever comes on your property, do not open your door. Video her, then call the police. My ex broke this order four times, and went to jail four times, before it was finally over.
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Always remember what they do:Idealize. Devalue. Discard.
Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.~ Churchill
FallenOne
Formerly Matt.S
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2017, 01:50:26 PM »

No. You must be more vigilant now, and thread carefully. She has BPD and it will be harder for her to do NC long-term, than for you. This may trigger her abandonment issues into painting you white again, after painting the girlfriend black, and therefore recycle you in the future. If she revokes her order, and you reunite, she may paint you black again, then, she could make things far worse for you. Jail is a terrible mind-space to be in. She could still lie to the police, claiming you harassed her, if you even look at her funny. Run, walk, limp, crawl, away, as fast as you can if she ever comes near you. Record all calls, and if she ever comes on your property, do not open your door. Video her, then call the police. My ex broke this order four times, and went to jail four times, before it was finally over.

You really think she's stupid/crazy enough to break her own court order? It would only come back on her...

Why would she think I would talk to her or forgive her if she did? Even if she revoked it and tried to contact me... Just why?

This is what she wanted, so I don't know why she would go through that just to contact me again after making such a huge decision.
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Mutt
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« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2017, 01:53:51 PM »

Hi FallenOne,

You really think she's stupid/crazy enough to break her own court order? It would only come back on her.

Congrats on getting a deal in court. It makes sense to everyone in this thread, she lacks impulse control, thoughts to consequences and alters reality to match her out of place feelings, BPD is a serious mental disorder.

It's over if you decide that it's over by setting the boundary on you with self protection, don't respond back to anything that she sends your way, don't react to her, keep track of everything and give it to your L if you need to. Take care of you first, don't worry about her, she made her choice.
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
FallenOne
Formerly Matt.S
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 321


« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2017, 10:02:19 PM »

Hi FallenOne,

Congrats on getting a deal in court. It makes sense to everyone in this thread, she lacks impulse control, thoughts to consequences and alters reality to match her out of place feelings, BPD is a serious mental disorder.

It's over if you decide that it's over by setting the boundary on you with self protection, don't respond back to anything that she sends your way, don't react to her, keep track of everything and give it to your L if you need to. Take care of you first, don't worry about her, she made her choice.

So you're saying there's a good chance she's willing to get a fine or even go to jail and break her own order over some feelings?
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necchi
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« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2017, 10:43:20 PM »

''You really think she's stupid/crazy enough to break her own court order? It would only come back on her... ''

  i'm not making this up! EX did it and i was stupid enough to go back !

A piece of advice to you, don't hope for it to happen, RTFAAFAYC! and dont look back.
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