Yes, Aesir, the push-pull dynamic did a number on my head and heart, too. It likely comes from the abandonment-engulfment feelings that are repeat cycles for many with BPD.
It's very understandable that after awhile you gave up. Did you feel like you couldn't do anything right? How do you feel about having given up?
heartandwhole
I felt confused and that I was doing something wrong. After I gave that aspect of the relationship up gradually I felt the relationship was ultimately doomed. Mainly because she was increasingly demanding but at the same time she was not putting enough into the relationship to make it work. That's emotionally and financially.
After the final surrender... I feel drained and somewhat unworthy. I tried to do the right things but it was like I was treading water but not going anywhere.