Joyinmotion
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 3
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« on: January 20, 2017, 10:30:18 AM » |
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Hi, I found the BPD website and decided to join the online support group. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. About 6 months ago, my husband became convinced that I was cheating on him, in spite of my denying his accusations. He has not dropped his views and keeps making references to this alleged guy friend. He claims that a black pickup truck passing by our driveway was this man so he secretly looked up the license plate, then the publicly available data, like name and address. A month ago, my husband showed me a picture on Facebook and said I knew this man who is a total stranger. Then he drove to a neighborhood a few miles from our house, stopped in front of the gate as a resident woman was opening it, and told me this was his house and I could move there if I wanted to. I have been telling him I don't know this man, etc. But he does not believe me. My husband claims he has irrefutable evidence: his data is that we both share the Find-my-iPhone technology on our phones, which shows the location of each other's devices. Apparently several times, the location dot for my device was either not broadcasting (when I was inside a building) or showing a different location for me. For example, when I was swimming or working on treadmill at the gym, the dot would show up in a nearby field or building. From this technical data, my husband has spun a whole story of how I met a man at the gym, then started meeting him for hot rendez vous in nearby oil and gas fields and apartment buildings.
After he gets his outbursts off his chest, he behaves the same as he normally does, reasonable and even loving.
Last week, he started talking about the marriage being over and asking me to leave. When I asked him again, he said he was not ready for me to go. I don't have a job or a car so I would be thrown to the curb if I left right now. I'm in the middle of seeking a teaching certificate online so I asked him to wait till I get my certification in fall 2017 before he proceeds with a divorce. That seems to give him a breather and he has settled down in the past few days.
I believe he has many issues stemming from his life experiences and needs to address them. His baggage is overwhelming him and has become dumped on me as the primary scapegoat.
I love him dearly and I am very confused on how best to proceed. Arguing reason is not working. He refuses marriage therapy. He refuses to talk to any friend or relative. I, on the other hand, feel free talking to close friends and relatives, since I don't have any thing to be ashamed of!
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