She discarded me one year ago today.

[Dhand77]

Today is the one year anniversary of the discard.

So, the question a lot of new members are going to ask is ":)oes it get any better?" And I just want to say... .yes, it does.

The hurt doesn't feel as raw anymore. The ruminating less and less. I know some of you are going through an immensely difficult time in your lives right now. But you WILL get through this.

Focus on YOU. DO things for YOU. Stay No contact as best you can. Rediscover old hobbies. Discover new hobbies. Meet new people. Get that haircut you always wanted to get. Get that gym membership. Buy that new wardrobe. Play that new video game. But do it for YOU.

It's hard, for some, it will be the hardest thing you ever go through in your life, but you WILL get through it.

You may never be the person you were before you met them, but you will be a better person after them.

Sure, I miss the guy I used to be, but now I feel like I needed that guy to be destroyed to take my life to a better level. With greater knowledge and emotional maturity.

When you're healed, it'll be them regretting the loss, not you. When you're healed you won't take them back in a million years.

It's a long, hard journey... .but it WILL get better.

[Shedd]

Thank you for this.

It has also been a year for me too! It does feel a lot better than the last year.  I feel more strength than I ever had before.

It definitely does get better.  Though I still struggle at times especially because I see her at work. 

She's made me realize how strong of a person I really am.

[Dhand77]

Thank you for this.

It has also been a year for me too! It does feel a lot better than the last year.  I feel more strength than I ever had before.

It definitely does get better.  Though I still struggle at times especially because I see her at work. 

She's made me realize how strong of a person I really am.

Likewise, Shedd. I see mine almost everyday at work as well. But we don't speak or interact with each other at all.

We're stronger than they'll ever be.

[Shedd]

Likewise, Shedd. I see mine almost everyday at work as well. But we don't speak or interact with each other at all.

We're stronger than they'll ever be.

The work thing makes it much harder.  Do they make things difficult at work for you?

[Anez]

Dhand! glad to see you're doing well.

We chatted when you were going through it as I work with mine, too, and I'm glad you're doing better.

I'm doing better, too. Not completely healed but a whole lot better than I was.

My ex and I don't talk at work, either. An occasional hello if we pass by in the hall but can go weeks without that happening. she's burned bridges with a lot of people in the office and has one poor sap left  who is caught in her tornado tunnel of fakeness. poor, young fella.

All the stuff you said is right - work on yourself, do good things for you, and each day gets better. I remember when it first all went down. I lost like 15 pounds, would break out in sweats when I heard her voice in the office, had trouble sleeping. none of that happens any more - except an occasional blip of anxiety when i hear her voice, which isn't often.

glad to hear you're doing well. you deserve to feel good!

[Nerd_Dad]

Being only a week in these are words I need to hear. Thank you.

I don't feel like I'm ever going to get over this. And I know I'm not strong enough to stay away if she changes her mind in the coming weeks (as she has in the past).

It almost feels like she's taken me and lifted me so high just to be able to crash me so low. Nearly thirteen years of marriage and she's just all of a sudden 'not compatible' with me. What?

I hope some day I feel better, but it feels like I won't love anybody like this ever again.

[Dhand77]

Dhand! glad to see you're doing well.

We chatted when you were going through it as I work with mine, too, and I'm glad you're doing better.

I'm doing better, too. Not completely healed but a whole lot better than I was.

My ex and I don't talk at work, either. An occasional hello if we pass by in the hall but can go weeks without that happening. she's burned bridges with a lot of people in the office and has one poor sap left  who is caught in her tornado tunnel of fakeness. poor, young fella.

All the stuff you said is right - work on yourself, do good things for you, and each day gets better. I remember when it first all went down. I lost like 15 pounds, would break out in sweats when I heard her voice in the office, had trouble sleeping. none of that happens any more - except an occasional blip of anxiety when i hear her voice, which isn't often.

glad to hear you're doing well. you deserve to feel good!

Anez! Glad to hear you're doing better too, pal! My ex has also alienated herself and burned bridges at work. While all of my relationships have grown stronger and prospered at work. Now it's just a few creepy, thirsty weirdos that hang around her. Haha... .they can have her. A few months ago, she discarded her best friend over a minor misunderstanding. The best friend reached out to me, and apologized for believing her lies about me. THAT was probably better closure than anything that could come from my ex.

I feel like there's still a lot of healing left to do, but it's nothing like last year at this time. I'd say I'm at 40 percent left. I'm so glad to hear you're doing well. I was actually wondering about you the other day. So, I'm glad to hear it.

@Shedd She has and continues to smear me to anyone that will listen, for the past year. Honestly, she can smear all she wants. The real friends at work see through it. So, it doesn't bother me too much anymore. It's not like it's ever going to stop, so I just ignore it.

@Nerd_Dad Try as best as you can to stay no contact. It's the only way to heal from this. A year ago, I would have done anything to get her back. The person that cheated on me and discarded me like trash. Now, I see that she is ls a very sad and lonely person, that ruins everything she touches. For your own health and well being STAY NO CONTACT

[Confused108]

Yup so very true! Remember guy we will get better , heal , are smarter now to their crap, and will never be fooled by them agin if they decide to try and recycle us.  They will always be that broken individual who will never really be happy with anyone and most likley die alone.