Should I go complete no contact now
you generally shouldnt contact someone who has taken the steps of blocking you, or otherwise not responded. that doesnt really have anything to do with bpd - its a sign that someone has put up walls to keep from contact - pursuing them just looks like trying to climb over those walls, making that person feel the need to build even higher walls. when you feel cornered, you either look for somewhere to run, or you come out swinging.
contacting her, or not contacting her - there is no effective way to make someone communicate with us if they dont want to.
it sounds like this was a bad breakup that left you with a lot of questions. its understandable that it would leave you wanting answers, or to have her in your life in some capacity. i dont think anyone likes being blocked.
unfortunately, that all depends on her being receptive, and she doesnt appear to be.
could that change? it could. but probably not as a result of anything you do or dont do. she would have to want it, and ex usually doesnt have a lot of incentive to do that - the old relationship is baggage, and theyve either moved on, or are trying to.
shes also probably not in any place to give you answers or the sort of closure youre seeking - by the time an ex becomes an ex, both people are on two very different pages. yours and her perception probably would not just not line up, but be very different. the kind of conversation where two exes validate each other and walk away feeling better from the exchange is a pretty rare exception to the rule.
the two of you were together for 3 years. she may have been upset at you for not being with her the night before her birthday, and it may have pushed things over the edge, but its a virtual guarantee that it wasnt out of nowhere, and that it wasnt the first time she had considered it. does anything about that add up to you? was anything going on that you were aware of leading up to the breakup?
