Mistake Lead To Spiral Breakup

[Depression = 72% of members]

I hope I'm not spamming too much, writing things down helps me (typing in this case). I want others in that weird emotional landscape to just hope and strive to something better. I hope that my story can inspire others to do the same. 

There's nothing wrong with sharing your feelings and getting it out on the computer screen- the process is cathartic in itself and it's how most of us ended up here.  And I personally believe that it helps accelerate the healing process as well since we're being honest with out emotions and struggles.

I also agree with you that your ex has a different realty than you.  We're all unique but share so many commonalities as well.  When we meet someone who thinks in completely different way, it's easy to think "they're wrong and we're right."  That's usually not the case though, different just means different and that's okay.

I'm sorry you're still hurting at times and looking back at the past.  I have moments as well three years later.  Time really does heal all though and those feelings will pass with time.  If you can, just stop searching for the "why" and accept that the best answer will almost always be 'mental illness'.  There's just not a deeper motivation behind it.  Even if we could go back in time and realize the math problem from earlier = banana, there'd be a new solution to find the following day.

Why?  Mental illness and disordered thinking, it's the great wild card in all of this and there's nothing we can do to change it.

[Pook075]

I hope I'm not spamming too much, writing things down helps me (typing in this case). I want others in that weird emotional landscape to just hope and strive to something better. I hope that my story can inspire others to do the same. 

There's nothing wrong with sharing your feelings and getting it out on the computer screen- the process is cathartic in itself and it's how most of us ended up here.  And I personally believe that it helps accelerate the healing process as well since we're being honest with out emotions and struggles.

I also agree with you that your ex has a different realty than you.  We're all unique but share so many commonalities as well.  When we meet someone who thinks in completely different way, it's easy to think "they're wrong and we're right."  That's usually not the case though, different just means different and that's okay.

I'm sorry you're still hurting at times and looking back at the past.  I have moments as well three years later.  Time really does heal all though and those feelings will pass with time.  If you can, just stop searching for the "why" and accept that the best answer will almost always be 'mental illness'.  There's just not a deeper motivation behind it.  Even if we could go back in time and realize the math problem from earlier = banana, there'd be a new solution to find the following day.

Why?  Mental illness and disordered thinking, it's the great wild card in all of this and there's nothing we can do to change it.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[codeawsome]

Been a while!

I would say im still in shock a little bit from the way everything went down with my ex. Looking back at it all it's really wild how it all went down. I looked back at my old phone and saw some texts. It did fill me with grief to look at it all again, at the same time it was validating. I don't feel crazy for feeling the feelings that I felt after that breakup. I don't blame myself for being confused like I was. Honestly the good and baseline were all really nice. It's just the cognitive dissonance from the negatives I guess.

What a tragedy. I still have a photo of her on my old phone. It's so tragic from my pov simply that she doesn't share the same sentiment I do (Or not in the same way because of disordered thinking) when she looks at those texts. It was a simple exchange. She wanted me to get some snacks and then thanked me. I was heading over to her place. So simple yet for me all those tiny moments are filled with such love. She was my princess. Fully.

It's really sad. On the bright side though, im getting myself a dog. Me and my buddy will take on the world. I'm still working hard on myself and learning a lot as I go.

Honestly I have questions still on whether or not she thinks about me or moved on. I know it's just the grief though. I can't relate to her like that. I don't think she really thinks about me in exactly the same way I think about her. As time passes Its getting easier to live with it. Yesterday was one of the first days in a long time where I was excited for the next day. I don't typically have that feeling.

Really odd that this person was in my life. They existed side by side through so much and poof just like that they disappear. What can you do at the end of the day I guess. I'm still curious how I would do now given everything I learned. However I understand also that this would always be what happens. Its part of the dysfunction, not being able to maintain long lasting intimate relationships. It's really sad. Oh well.