Healing after severe betrayal and manipulation

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello! English is not my native language, so I'm sorry for mistakes. I had a relationship with a girl and I think she has BPD traits.
After these recent events, I'm completely devastated and haven't been able to recover for almost four months.
I will briefly describe the dynamics of the relationship below.
May 2024 - We have sex on our third date. She's quite reserved and withdrawn. I've never had such "strange" sex in my life. Sometimes it felt like she wasn't even present in her body. Now I know it's called dissociation.

August 2024 - Her period is three weeks late. She says I wasn't supportive enough at that point, didn't tell her I wouldn't run away or disappear, and she breaks up with me because of that. It was a bit weird because I didn't disappear during those three weeks, offering to pay for any doctor, any tests.

September 2024 - She gives me a birthday present.
October 2024 - I give her a birthday present in return, and she invites me to Turkey to the mountains with her

November 2024 - In Turkey, I proposed resuming our relationship. She agrees, but only on the condition that I pay for the trip. This was incredibly strange for me, but I agreed. We start dating again, but she's incredibly cold. The worst sex of my life, she's simply "off." We had sex four times in two weeks, and once, right in the middle, she simply said, "Let's end this now."
She only "thaws out" toward the end of the trip, toward the end of the second week. But upon our return, she's cold again. We meet, and I tell her I don't understand her behavior. I tell her I can't be in a relationship like that and suggest we remain friends.
She cried and in response, she says she's been told hundreds of times that she's "crazy," but she believes she's simply special and in good faith.

We've been friends for almost a year, and I help her a lot with her home renovations. We talked almost every day, met up, had lunch together. She told me, "What would I do without you?" It was a year of mental and emotional struggle for me. I loved her, but intellectually, I knew something was wrong with her.
In July 2025, she again invited me to go to the mountains together, but I declined because my mother was seriously ill.
At the end of August 2025, she told me that her friend (he's a mountain guide) had invited her to the mountains with his group. I asked if I could come too. She agreed. And then something terrible happened—she flirted with her friend and was incredibly cold to me, it was the most brutal triangulation. The three of us shared a tent, and she started sleeping with him at night in the same sleeping bag. She would even lean on me at night. I'm sure she knew what she was doing and did it deliberately. She was manipulating both me and him. She saw how jealous we were both; she felt like a queen.
When we were at the top of the mountain, she came up to me, hugged me, and kissed me (for the first time since our breakup a year ago).
After we descended the mountain, there was a party where she simply ignored both her friend and me. Her friend couldn't take it anymore and left party early. An hour later, she discovered this and ran towards the hotel.
The next morning, I couldn't handle the emotional intensity and left. She started texting me, asking how I was doing—the chase had begun. I responded, suggesting a meeting—but she immediately stopped texting, she realized that she still had control...
 and didn't wish me a happy birthday.
I suggested another meeting, where I proposed starting our relationship from scratch. She said we were just friends, but she kept asking me questions what had changed.
Two days after the meeting, I wrote a letter. She's silent. Five days later, I called her and suggested another meeting. She agreed, we talked for two hours, and she asked a lot of questions again, ultimately saying, "There are no feelings," and "Where have you been before?"
I wemt into low contact mode, and we haven't spoken since. It's been two months now.
Two days ago, I found out she's in a relationship with that friend from the sleeping bag.
I'm completely devastated. I have never feel such kind of emotions before. She just ruined me.
I'm in therapy and my doctor said she definitely has traits of BPD and bipolar disorder.

I want just vent and express my thoughts. I still love her but now it was mostly trauma bond. And I still cannot realize how she can be so cruel and harmful with me. I've done a lot of good things to her.

[mirny]

Hello! English is not my native language, so I'm sorry for mistakes. I had a relationship with a girl and I think she has BPD traits.
After these recent events, I'm completely devastated and haven't been able to recover for almost four months.
I will briefly describe the dynamics of the relationship below.
May 2024 - We have sex on our third date. She's quite reserved and withdrawn. I've never had such "strange" sex in my life. Sometimes it felt like she wasn't even present in her body. Now I know it's called dissociation.

August 2024 - Her period is three weeks late. She says I wasn't supportive enough at that point, didn't tell her I wouldn't run away or disappear, and she breaks up with me because of that. It was a bit weird because I didn't disappear during those three weeks, offering to pay for any doctor, any tests.

September 2024 - She gives me a birthday present.
October 2024 - I give her a birthday present in return, and she invites me to Turkey to the mountains with her

November 2024 - In Turkey, I proposed resuming our relationship. She agrees, but only on the condition that I pay for the trip. This was incredibly strange for me, but I agreed. We start dating again, but she's incredibly cold. The worst sex of my life, she's simply "off." We had sex four times in two weeks, and once, right in the middle, she simply said, "Let's end this now."
She only "thaws out" toward the end of the trip, toward the end of the second week. But upon our return, she's cold again. We meet, and I tell her I don't understand her behavior. I tell her I can't be in a relationship like that and suggest we remain friends.
She cried and in response, she says she's been told hundreds of times that she's "crazy," but she believes she's simply special and in good faith.

We've been friends for almost a year, and I help her a lot with her home renovations. We talked almost every day, met up, had lunch together. She told me, "What would I do without you?" It was a year of mental and emotional struggle for me. I loved her, but intellectually, I knew something was wrong with her.
In July 2025, she again invited me to go to the mountains together, but I declined because my mother was seriously ill.
At the end of August 2025, she told me that her friend (he's a mountain guide) had invited her to the mountains with his group. I asked if I could come too. She agreed. And then something terrible happened—she flirted with her friend and was incredibly cold to me, it was the most brutal triangulation. The three of us shared a tent, and she started sleeping with him at night in the same sleeping bag. She would even lean on me at night. I'm sure she knew what she was doing and did it deliberately. She was manipulating both me and him. She saw how jealous we were both; she felt like a queen.
When we were at the top of the mountain, she came up to me, hugged me, and kissed me (for the first time since our breakup a year ago).
After we descended the mountain, there was a party where she simply ignored both her friend and me. Her friend couldn't take it anymore and left party early. An hour later, she discovered this and ran towards the hotel.
The next morning, I couldn't handle the emotional intensity and left. She started texting me, asking how I was doing—the chase had begun. I responded, suggesting a meeting—but she immediately stopped texting, she realized that she still had control...
 and didn't wish me a happy birthday.
I suggested another meeting, where I proposed starting our relationship from scratch. She said we were just friends, but she kept asking me questions what had changed.
Two days after the meeting, I wrote a letter. She's silent. Five days later, I called her and suggested another meeting. She agreed, we talked for two hours, and she asked a lot of questions again, ultimately saying, "There are no feelings," and "Where have you been before?"
I wemt into low contact mode, and we haven't spoken since. It's been two months now.
Two days ago, I found out she's in a relationship with that friend from the sleeping bag.
I'm completely devastated. I have never feel such kind of emotions before. She just ruined me.
I'm in therapy and my doctor said she definitely has traits of BPD and bipolar disorder.

I want just vent and express my thoughts. I still love her but now it was mostly trauma bond. And I still cannot realize how she can be so cruel and harmful with me. I've done a lot of good things to her.