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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Wife dysregulated nearly half the time - we’re both deteriorating rapidly  (Read 593 times)
SuperDaddy
***
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, not living together
Posts: 176


Fighting against wife's BPD, Panic, Phobia, CPTSD


« Reply #30 on: February 09, 2026, 09:46:33 PM »

Hi GrayJay,

My prediction is that things will get worse, but you'll just stay and adapt.

Find out how to heal your wounds that cause your codependency. Only then will you be able to step forward in whatever direction you wish. In the end, it will improve your relationship.
Logged

1) It's not your fault. This is what's going on.
2) You can't enforce boundaries if your BPD partner lives with you and can harass you all day.
3) They will seek treatment after hitting a wall.
DBT + https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34029405/
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