Tasting liberation

[Depression = 72% of members]

Just got some nasty texts after a short period of little contact and some notable shifts in my thinking.  Still not the best feeling in the world, but I feel so much lighter than I usually do after these attacks.  I'm not engaging.  I know the situation is not my fault.  And I know my boundaries are right for me. And I'm not freaking out -- such a relief.

[wantmorepeace]

Just got some nasty texts after a short period of little contact and some notable shifts in my thinking.  Still not the best feeling in the world, but I feel so much lighter than I usually do after these attacks.  I'm not engaging.  I know the situation is not my fault.  And I know my boundaries are right for me. And I'm not freaking out -- such a relief.

[zachira]

You are on the right path, by not engaging after receiving some nasty texts. It can feel so much lighter when we let the abusers take responsibility for their feelings and we don't allow ourselves to be the person they unload on by getting us engaged in JADING.

[wantmorepeace]

Thank you for this -- and for all your helpful posts.

I think it's important to share these good moments as well as our challenges.  I spent a long time despairing.  It was always good to hear when others made progress.

In case it helps anybody else.... I think big turning points for me included realizing that it's really ok if the ubpd person in my life thinks I'm a bad person (or behaving badly) and that I have a right to be happy and act on my needs and values.