Experience with Therapy that Backfires?

[Intotheforest]

Hi there,
I am wondering if anyone has experience with their PWBPD or uBPD entering into therapy to help them manage the chaos in their lives, not the condition itself, ultimately resulting in a therapist reinforcing their skewed perspectives and outlook?

[Notwendy]

I think this is what happened with my BPD mother. I didn't attend therapy with her so I don't know what was discussed, but it seems she didn't make progress with it.

[Deb]

My dBPD sister has a talent for picking therapists that she can manipulate. None of her children will do therapy with her now. If she can't manipulate the therapist, she quits.

[zachira]

There are many disordered clients who are adept at manipulating therapists. It is common in marital therapy for a narcissist to manipulate the therapist into believing that the other spouse is the problem. A well known trait of many disordered people including those with BPD is to be able to appear normal when in the public eye while being abusive to their close family members and partners in private.

[Intotheforest]

Thanks for these replies. It's such a difficult thing to make sense of as the non-disordered person. Even now I find myself having to ground myself intentionally whenever I have an interaction with her. She has surrounded herself with people who validate and support her, normalizing the chaos she sows and ignoring the patterns. I think one of the hardest things for me in trying to understand her treatment of me through the years has been trusting my experiences and holding her accountable when those around her (and me, in the case of my FOO) look the other way, normalize, and even justify it. It's a wonder any sibling or child comes through it with a solid, clear sense of Self.