Your x down graded from you

[statsattack]

Who here has found that your x new partner is a downgrade in looks

[roberto516]

My first ex he definitely was worse looking. But they are going on 3 years. She got pregnant by him in the first month she dumped me. And now they are having kid number 2. I wish her will, but the therapist in me can't help but feel bad that they probably think kid number 2 will save the relationship. Or maybe not. I do wish her well.

With this recent ex I think I was an upgrade in looks from the person she was still semi dating when she hooked her claws into me. She says she isn't dating yet. But she's 35 and I'm 29 and I can't imagine the next guy will be someone younger. So I'll say I'm winning in the end again I'm really not this vindictive. The pain is just still hours fresh.

[Pretty Woman]

What exactly is a downgrade? Who are we to judge that?

From an outside view my ex's new GF (well of the past 2yrs) is a director in her career (for a very well known US company) which I am not. She has a fancier car, bigger house. Do I feel like I am worse than her or vice versa? Nope.

She is a heavy set woman, attractive with a bubbly, friendly personality. I was the the same only now, 2yrs later 100lbs thinner. My ex dumped me right after weight loss surgery... .she feared I'd find someone better.
She was right but that's besides the point here... .

I think my ex's current girlfriend and I have much different boundaries. I was friendly with this woman before I knew she was being groomed as my replacement. She is one of these people who likes every darn thing people post on FB... .and I mean everything. I have no idea how she actually gets work done. She is also very concerned about people "liking" her. After I unfriended her (when she told me my relationship with my ex had been over for some time and couldn't we all be friends-while she dated my girlfriend) she cried. My ex claimed my vicious response--and I admit it wasn't a pretty response to someone who knew her 2wks and thought she knew her better than I did--- made her (the new GF) "suicidal".

Sadly this replacement also had confided in me her most recent ex cheated on her and was marrying her replacement (which she did). She kept this woman who treated her so crappy as her "best friend" and now my ex and her GF hang out with pretty much a mirror image of their own relationship.

Lack of boundaries. I am not judging, I've been there too. Just sayin.

All my ex's "replacement" did was jump into another relationship with a serial cheater who lies and steals. I know several of my ex's exes and the story is the same with each one. My ex is a serial cheater and she has admitted to it. It's almost a badge of honor for her.

So do I think my ex downgraded? No. I think she found someone with weaker boundaries who does not love themselves and needs others to bring their life value. Someone who cannot be alone and will tolerate being a punching bag.

Personally, I think that creates a more loaded relationship and when it eventually ends I pray this woman won't end along with it. I actually have compassion for her because my ex is very dangerous and can be physically violent. I tried to "change" for my ex and I walked on eggshells. Never made a difference. They still leave.

Once you are out of this long enough you will realize you were good enough, your ex was just the wrong person. You will be glad they are gone and out of your life... .but it takes time and healing to get there. Don't ever be hard on yourself.

[roberto516]

What exactly is a downgrade? Who are we to judge that?

From an outside view my ex's new GF (well of the past 2yrs) is a director in her career (for a very well known US company) which I am not. She has a fancier car, bigger house. Do I feel like I am worse than her or vice versa? Nope.

She is a heavy set woman, attractive with a bubbly, friendly personality. I was the the same only now, 2yrs later 100lbs thinner. My ex dumped me right after weight loss surgery... .she feared I'd find someone better.
She was right but that's besides the point here... .

I think my ex's current girlfriend and I have much different boundaries. I was friendly with this woman before I knew she was being groomed as my replacement. She is one of these people who likes every darn thing people post on FB... .and I mean everything. I have no idea how she actually gets work done. She is also very concerned about people "liking" her. After I unfriended her (when she told me my relationship with my ex had been over for some time and couldn't we all be friends-while she dated my girlfriend) she cried. My ex claimed my vicious response--and I admit it wasn't a pretty response to someone who knew her 2wks and thought she knew her better than I did--- made her (the new GF) "suicidal".

Sadly this replacement also had confided in me her most recent ex cheated on her and was marrying her replacement (which she did). She kept this woman who treated her so crappy as her "best friend" and now my ex and her GF hang out with pretty much a mirror image of their own relationship.

Lack of boundaries. I am not judging, I've been there too. Just sayin.

All my ex's "replacement" did was jump into another relationship with a serial cheater who lies and steals. I know several of my ex's exes and the story is the same with each one. My ex is a serial cheater and she has admitted to it. It's almost a badge of honor for her.

So do I think my ex downgraded? No. I think she found someone with weaker boundaries who does not love themselves and needs others to bring their life value. Someone who cannot be alone and will tolerate being a punching bag.

Personally, I think that creates a more loaded relationship and when it eventually ends I pray this woman won't end along with it. I actually have compassion for her because my ex is very dangerous and can be physically violent. I tried to "change" for my ex and I walked on eggshells. Never made a difference. They still leave.

Once you are out of this long enough you will realize you were good enough, your ex was just the wrong person. You will be glad they are gone and out of your life... .but it takes time and healing to get there. Don't ever be hard on yourself.

Good post. Thanks for sharing. I do feel bad for my ex's guy that she has a kid with. It's probably living hell, and a trap now that he's the caretaker and has a daughter. And as for my most recent one. She "fell out of love with me" because I stopped being a punching bag. So she will find someone who is either narcissistic and emotionally abuses her, or she will find someone who is even more of a punching bag who will never stand up for himself. And that to me is kind of sad. If she didn't work on it with me I don't see her ever thinking "Yeah let me respect this guy's boundaries." Maybe she will. But I doubt it.

[mar356]

"Who here has found that your x new partner is a downgrade in looks"

I'm not sure it matters if they were a downgrade or upgrade.  When they paint you black and their neediness kicks in there is a great chance they might just go for the next guy who looks at them who is decent.  I wouldn't take it personally, if it was a downgrade then I'd imagine that relationship may be a filler and short lived and might start a recycling process. 

[Pretty Woman]

Roberto,
  Thank you.  We need to get to a point where it doesn't matter about the replacement. We create so many scenerios guessing what might be happening.

True detachment is not caring about that anymore.

It shouldn't matter what they are doing or feeling. What matters is how we are doing. Are we thriving? Where are we stuck in our healing? How do we move past ruminating about these things?

Those are all questions we need to ask ourselves. There isn't a cookie cutter approach, we are all different but truly being healed from this means working on OURSELVES, gaining clarity into why we tolerated this type of person and behavior and making changes that affect us going forward. Not them. They don't matter anymore. This is our life.

[roberto516]

Roberto,
  Thank you.  We need to get to a point where it doesn't matter about the replacement. We create so many scenerios guessing what might be happening.

True detachment is not caring about that anymore.

It shouldn't matter what they are doing or feeling. What matters is how we are doing. Are we thriving? Where are we stuck in our healing? How do we move past ruminating about these things?

Those are all questions we need to ask ourselves. There isn't a cookie cutter approach, we are all different but truly being healed from this means working on OURSELVES, gaining clarity into why we tolerated this type of person and behavior and making changes that affect us going forward. Not them. They don't matter anymore. This is our life.

Especially considering that we don't matter to them anymore. And possibly never did to the extent they cared for us. It's something I am wrapping my head around still. And I know I'm going to accept it all one day. And then that weight is gonna be off my shoulders.

[Pretty Woman]

Roberto, try not to think of it as she never cared. She did but in the only way she knows how to. In that moment, when they love you they do... .

until they don't. It's like emotional alzheimers. Try to reframe it in that perspective. You did mean something. In many cases when they eventually "ghost" it's because they know they have pushed you so far and will never get you back. They can't deal with shame nor take responsibility for their actions so they cut you out and pretend you don't exist. It's a defense mechanism engrained in them. They can't stop it from happening. They can work on it if they are in intense therapy but many never get to that point.

BPD is a personality disorder. It can't be cured with medicine. Something triggered them and this became WHO THEY ARE.

We can't change our personalities. This is WHO they are.

[bus boy]

i think Xw in her opinion traded up. My replacement is easily manuplated, his boundaries are easily trampled so in her eyes it's a trade up.

[roberto516]

Roberto, try not to think of it as she never cared. She did but in the only way she knows how to. In that moment, when they love you they do... .

until they don't. It's like emotional alzheimers. Try to reframe it in that perspective. You did mean something. In many cases when they eventually "ghost" it's because they know they have pushed you so far and will never get you back. They can't deal with shame nor take responsibility for their actions so they cut you out and pretend you don't exist. It's a defense mechanism engrained in them. They can't stop it from happening. They can work on it if they are in intense therapy but many never get to that point.

BPD is a personality disorder. It can't be cured with medicine. Something triggered them and this became WHO THEY ARE.

We can't change our personalities. This is WHO they are.

Good point again. It makes sense. I stayed away for two weeks really seeing if I wanted to do this. And that was probably enough time for her whip out a defense mechanism because that was a long time for her where possible guilt and shame would have kicked in. So to avoid the abandonment/introspection she got out. And I am aware that they can't do anything about it. It's who they are. Nothing could have been done. I could have been perfect and it wouldn't have been enough for her. Not consciously. But one day I was gonna be put into the black way of thinking. And that was all she wrote.

[Sufficating]

I'm not sure who the replacement is yet, it's only been a week.  I do know that the most recent female he was sneaking around with is a definite downgrade in looks... .and as petty as that is it makes me feel better.  I'll take any kind of boost I can get at this point.

[Gear Jammer]

When the ex met me I wasn't in the best of shape I was tired and haggard looking I was suffering from job burn out it was taking its toll on me. The guy she replaced me with is younger he was in better shape, you look at him today he doesn't look the same as he did when she first met him.

I watched her slowly destroy him, his health started to decline he started to age rapidly everybody around him seen it they knew it was from being with her. Fast forward to current day he looks in his late 40s nearing 50 when his actual age is 35 he's still with her today. I truly have seen the damage a BPD woman can do to a man.

She really hasn't come away unscathed, when we first met she had a smoking hot body every guy was after her she loved it everybody was flirting with her. Coincidently when woman flirted with me that would start a fight her jealous streak would come out.  She's gained quite a bit of weight she's at least 2 clothes sizes bigger and she's aged herself. When her and I went our final ways it caused her quite a bit of stress she really packed on the pounds. She use to have a bum on her you could cover with two hands she was petite today not the case .

Myself on the other hand having her and my stressful job out of my life I've fully recovered, I'm doing good she seen me face to face last year. Pretty sure she noticed how healthy and happy I looked. Her BF before me she run him through the ringer and she was proud of the fact he got fat and old looking.

I really don't know what's going on in her current BFs mind but he's gotta look in the mirror. He will never recover from the damage he's done to himself. I looked in the mirror and I knew I looked horrible I wanted to change it, knew it was from stress from her and the job I was in. So I worked hard to get my life back today I'm revelling in the results of having a youthful and healthy appearance.

[flourdust]

Who here has found that your x new partner is a downgrade in looks

I don't understand the purpose of this question. Are you trying to make yourself feel better by feeling superior?

[marti644]

While I understand the sentiment this seems rather like a shallow concern. I think we shouldn't be concentrating on whether the relationship looks like it is better due to physical traits. It's about the emotional connection isn't it? If you are dwelling on how the perception of the relationship (yours or the next relationship) than you are not really detaching. As we all know these relationships with BPD's always end in the same cycle unless they get help. So we shouldn't be analyzing how they are doing (for better or worse). Isn't that just gloating and reflecting back on our own negative aspects?

[statsattack]

I don't understand the purpose of this question. Are you trying to make yourself feel better by feeling superior?

Yes

[mjssmom]

It's quite typical for people in any breakup and especially in one that is an abusive relationship, to feel the need to gloat little bit in their own glory. The reality is that at some point  most of us now and then compare ourselves to our exes  current partner. Rejection hurts. I'm not going to say that I'm above gloating in my own mind and yes I do appear both physically and mentally in a better place then his current girlfriend. And I think that's okay for me to feel that way for a little while until I detach. I am just finally getting into the anger stage and I am not willing to give my empathy over to the woman that replaced me when she knew about me and cheated with my ex purposely and it hurt me. So no I don't feel bad for holding myself up above her at this particular time. Maybe I will later but right now I think it's okay to justify it in my mind until I feel better. Now there is a small part of me that feels sorry for her knowing what she is going to get in the end. But considering the stage of grieving I'm in and the anger that I'm finally starting to feel, I also feel sort of like she deserves it. She proceeded with him with full knowledge of my existence.  So as far as I'm concerned in the rare moment that I do compare myself to her, if it's going to for whatever reason make my self-esteem a little easier and help me in some way to get me over a hump briefly, then that's okay.

[hopealways]

Downgrade means not as attractive, not as successful.  And yes my replacement was definitely a downgrade. It actually grossed me out to think she's with someone who looked like that.  Thankfully, that is what made me move the hell on.

[Turkish]

It's quite typical for people in any breakup and especially in one that is an abusive relationship, to feel the need to gloat little bit in their own glory. The reality is that at some point  most of us now and then compare ourselves to our exes  current partner. Rejection hurts.

.

It does, as does feeling the need to leave a partner one may still care about or even love as a few members here have.  

We've all seen the "hot" lady with the average guy; ladies have seen the opposite. I would qualify for the former, and she was ten years my junior to boot.  She "upgraded" on the surface to a guy ten years her junior, a college football jock. Why me? Why him? These aren't the right questions, at least on the surface, to help us detach.  

My BFF's little sister (now 41) hooked up with a slightly older guy her last year of high school.  She's dBPD. She's petite, reasonably good looking, but sexual in that was many of us have observed making someone more attractive.  He was average,  slightly overweight,  no career prospects, and was already divorced at 20. No one saw the appeal. L9ng story short, it ended within 6 years with cheating and DV on both sides, he abandoning their daughter. Cue a later marriage for her.  Slightly better guy.  Ended the same, no kid. Two other live in relationships. He second marriage was the same dynamic. After an affair and divorce, the subsequent live in r/s had DV (her). He was the nicest guy of all.  Subsequent one was k8nd of LD. Ended. All better looking guys than the first marriage. At this point,  and I've watched this woman from afar for over 30 years, does it matter who's "better" based upon whatever standard we feel is relevant?

What's relevent is understanding what drives a pwBPD. What is a core fear? Abandonment. What drives this? Powerful early childhood attachment issues (and neglect and abuse in most cases, real or perceived). How do these things manifest themselves? We've all experienced them.  

Co-ruminating is a stage,  necessary to soothe. It assures us that we are not alone.  At some point,  however, educating ourselves on what drives the other is a necessary next step.  In a way,  it's  putting our empathy to healthy use, after which, we can turn that empathy back towards ourselves, detached from the responsibility towards understanding  the other.

[marti644]

My point is that most of us were seduced by our partners (willingly) by the highly sexualized behavior they had towards us at the beginning and a large amount of my original attraction was based on those instincts. Post relationship, to worry about how their other partner looks (we may say it's about more than physical traits but because of lack of information most of our thoughts are in fact based on only what we can see) we fall in danger of searching out someone "better". This can put us in a victim role "the why me" part of most of our narcissistic tendencies, and eventually lead us to once again be prey for BPD type individuals. Empathy is the best medicine for moving on as we go forward, although I am struggling like the rest if you to deal with it. NC and not knowing is so much better if you can do it. Then you don't have to compare.

[Sadly]

In my experience in all relationships regardless of BPD it is normal and human to make comparisons. I remember being dumped when I was 16 and the next week saw him with his new girlfriend, I was as heartbroken as only a 16 year olds can be but had a sneaking satisfaction that she had an ass the size of an elephant  . I chose to ignore the fact that my nose was bigger than hers, it's how we deal until we come to terms, simple as that. X

[marti644]

In my experience in all relationships regardless of BPD it is normal and human to make comparisons. I remember being dumped when I was 16 and the next week saw him with his new girlfriend, I was as heartbroken as only a 16 year olds can be but had a sneaking satisfaction that she had an ass the size of an elephant  . I chose to ignore the fact that my nose was bigger than hers, it's how we deal until we come to terms, simple as that. X

Sadly,

This is of course true. But at least in my experience detaching from a BPD relationship is more complex because of the lack of closure and how quickly they move on. My point was only to be careful about comparisons, because so much of their pattern is fake when it comes to all of their relationships. Dwelling on comparisons and ruminating are part of the process of grieving, but too much (I am not saying that there is a specific time frame for this) comparing can leave us hung-up for longer periods than is helpful.

I broke off a normal relationship of two and a half years and my ex was with someone who was much less attractive within three weeks. It was devastating to think she moved on so fast and with someone who was 'lower' than me. It took me years to get over how fast she moved on, and in the end I hampered my own recovery by fixating on this aspect of our break-up. My BPD relationship was far more intense, so I am trying hard to put it all in perspective and not get stuck in the cycle of ruminating. Spending years dwelling on this aspect of this break-up is something I am trying to avoid. The truth is my BPD-ex lost me, and I was very good to her (at least to the best of my ability). Her loss and my gain now that I am free to meet someone who is mentally healthy regardless of the checklist society gives me to tell me what makes a "good mate" on the scale of looks, jobs, and money.

[Mr.R.Indignation]

Woah, what the heck? People take an ego hit from people being less attractive than them?

Personally my ex moved to someone who is very good looking, better looking than me. No idea how successful he is, but from what I do know he's at the very least a narcissistic phallus, possibly has a personality disorder. They've broken up numerous times, she still has problems with him, she's often upset with him or by him and they fall out. She's broken every rule in the set of standards she had. I can understand feeling repulsed by the choice of ex, but in my case it's more because she says she still loves all her exes equally, including those that raped her. In any case, she's not in a good relationship by any means.

And much in the same way I was presumably picked up and idealised, at the end of our relationship she was already looking for the next one to latch on to as 'the one.' One guy she was telling me about in an almost idealising way (while she was still unsure whether or not she wanted to continue a relationship with me) was kinda pervy, so presumably she couldn't latch on because she was looking for her next rescuer. This next candidate was trying to seduce her, was a lot slicker, and while obviously trying to get into her pants she saw his behaviour as kind rather than sexually motivated (would make more sense with context). This guy she said she thought was 'the one' immediately, when in reality he was just an attractive dude who came along when she was feeling vulnerable and was being nice to her. In her own words 'just when I didn't think I'd be able to love again.' To which I thought 'what kind of BS is this?'

We've followed a similar approach by getting involved with the pwBPD, so wading in this water is not progressive. Attractive, unattractive, successful, unsuccessfull - the relationship was never about you. If there's one thing you should've learned from the relationship it's that your worth meant nothing in comparison to your ex's distorted perception of you. In addition your ex probably would have meant little to you if it wasn't for your distorted perception of them. Their values are completely separate from your self-worth, especially since their exhibited values seem to be separate from their stated values.

Define and value yourself as you are. If I was basing my self-worth on my ex, by that logic I'm as good as a rapist, and call me crazy but I disagree with that.

It may take time, but you can find something that will make you happy to be yourself, and it probably isn't how your looks stack up against somebody else.

Indi

[Pretty Woman]

R.Indignation,
    As a woman it is hard for me to say this because when someone tells you they were raped... .well that should be taken seriously however... .

If your ex is saying she was raped but still loves them and contacts them... .

My ex told me the same things. I met these people later down the road WITH her in tow. They were not rapists. One was a prison psychologist... .quite well known in her field.

I realized she told me a lot of this while she was trying to initially snag me. It was the whole "White Knight" phase.

She's told people I raped her since our relationship ended. I work with her sister. It's terrible. People are actually scared of me and that is not something I would ever do. We weren't even intimate 85% of our relationship because I felt something was off with her. I should have taken that as   but this was all new to me.

So don't take for certain she was raped. If she lied about other things... .well... .

[glaciercats]

I don't think it is all about the looks.  They are finding someone to easily manipulate and latch on to.  It really makes me sick seeing her interact with me replacement.  She said she wanted to stay friends with me.  But anytime we do anything together she is constantly texting the replacement.  Like she can not put the phone down for 5 minutes.  It is so shallow and everything is so desperate.  If someone was texting me that much and sending me song after song and image after image it would seem so fake and unflattering.  But she eats that up.  It's some weird thing in her that likes to see someone turn crazy for her.  I can't wrap my head around it.  I would feel so smothered and bothered my it.  I don't know how that is even love.  And I don't know why I keep putting myself back into this.  It really seems so stupid and High schoolish.   

[Gear Jammer]

I don't think it is all about the looks.  They are finding someone to easily manipulate and latch on to.  It really makes me sick seeing her interact with me replacement.  She said she wanted to stay friends with me.  But anytime we do anything together she is constantly texting the replacement.  Like she can not put the phone down for 5 minutes.  It is so shallow and everything is so desperate.  If someone was texting me that much and sending me song after song and image after image it would seem so fake and unflattering.  But she eats that up.  It's some weird thing in her that likes to see someone turn crazy for her.  I can't wrap my head around it.  I would feel so smothered and bothered my it.  I don't know how that is even love.  And I don't know why I keep putting myself back into this.  It really seems so stupid and High schoolish.   

I do agree with this my ex latched onto a guy she could manipulate he was so desperate to be with her a week into dating her he took her off on an all expenses paid vacation. Ever since then his wallet has been wide open hemorrhaging money. Ya my ex wanted to say friends when I finally cut her off that's when my life turned upside down she went ape chit she wanted to see me pay. My replacement thou is a people pleaser he gives up everything in his life just for her. Today he's damaged himself from stress trying to keep her happy.

[Mr.R.Indignation]

R.Indignation,
    As a woman it is hard for me to say this because when someone tells you they were raped... .well that should be taken seriously however... .

'Those' was a grammatical brain fart, so maybe it makes more sense for me to believe it when it's put singularly. She's only claimed rape about one person although abuse is a wider topic. And thankfully I doubt she'd talk crap about me directly, except maybe dissing my precautionary hotel slippers (I stand by my decision - dog pee is a real threat!) and the fact I thought you had to air screwtop wine.

She can be naive/totally oblivious about things so an error of judgement and her submissiveness are enough for me to think it adds up, somewhat unfortunately. Having said that she definitely uses tragedies big and small to manipulate.

In any case, I'm happy to believe she wouldn't have gone to the effort of making up the guy's texts which were... .not so nice. Also social media posts such as 'you can unfollow me but you can't unswallow me' do wonders to highlight his personality type. Her tales generally reflect at least a semblance of the person she's talking about. Rape or not, not someone I'd like to be put on a par with.

P.S

I apologise for being entertained, but I've read the 'dearest friends' party story and it's amazingly classic.

[glaciercats]

I do agree with this my ex latched onto a guy she could manipulate he was so desperate to be with her a week into dating her he took her off on an all expenses paid vacation. Ever since then his wallet has been wide open hemorrhaging money. Ya my ex wanted to say friends when I finally cut her off that's when my life turned upside down she went ape chit she wanted to see me pay. My replacement thou is a people pleaser he gives up everything in his life just for her. Today he's damaged himself from stress trying to keep her happy.

Exactly what happened in my situation.  As long as he is spending money taking her places, making her "dreams" come true then she is content.  But this person doesn't make the kind of money to keep this up.  So what happens when it all runs out?  Is it still going to be her fairy tale?  I think my replacement is a very insecure person.  And likes the attention she is giving him.  I swear I see how it all plays out and I know what is going on.  So why am I staying stuck in this mess?  I know better.

[Gear Jammer]

Exactly what happened in my situation.  As long as he is spending money taking her places, making her "dreams" come true then she is content.  But this person doesn't make the kind of money to keep this up.  So what happens when it all runs out?  Is it still going to be her fairy tale?  I think my replacement is a very insecure person.  And likes the attention she is giving him.  I swear I see how it all plays out and I know what is going on.  So why am I staying stuck in this mess?  I know better.

Wow spitting image of what my ex is like, my replacement loves being the center of attention, ever since the day I met the man he's been like that. If he's in a crowd being ignored he will make noises to bring attention to himself ya he is grossly insecure. When her and I were still friends I thought she would be happy going on all these trips nope it was short lived she would come back taking her unhappiness out on me. My replacement makes good money but man o man is he spending it on her the vacations, helping with her bills I bet some months he was spending an easy G-note. She claims to be happy but any of the pictures I've seen of them together its fake smiles.

The difference between me and my replacement I did provide her the emotional connection she craved, my replacement he's emotionally detached. Now that they are living together for the first time in their relationship of 3 years I don't see them lasting together for very long. I'm worried she will be seeking me out, its been 2 years since we've spoke to each other.

[glaciercats]

It's crazy isn't it Gear. I wish I was two years out... .I have got to get myself out of this. I don't want this life anymore. I took her dinner tonight because she didn't have money. And the whole time I was there she was texting him on the phone like obsessively. And even told me that she would be on her phone and if I didn't like it I should go. How cold and ungrateful can someone be. I mean not as much as a thank you. I would rather be lonely than treated like this.  Just having a really rough time right now.

[Gear Jammer]

It's crazy isn't it Gear. I wish I was two years out... .I have got to get myself out of this. I don't want this life anymore. I took her dinner tonight because she didn't have money. And the whole time I was there she was texting him on the phone like obsessively. And even told me that she would be on her phone and if I didn't like it I should go. How cold and ungrateful can someone be. I mean not as much as a thank you. I would rather be lonely than treated like this.  Just having a really rough time right now.

I wouldn't have delt with that she would have gotten a new one ripped, your gonna have to kick that ___ out of your life.