Help

[SillyFilly]

My diagnosed BPD husband doesn't want to be with me anymore.  He says he can't give me what I want (intimacy) and that he thinks it can't be fixed and it's for the best that we are not together.  The divorce is not what I want and all I keep thinking is what it really that bad with him?  I assume there is nothing I can do to change his mind (nothing has worked so far)?  I love him so much and want to be with me but I fear I need to try and move on?

[Teereese]

Hello SillyFilly 

I have learned that if  a person tells you something, believe them.

Your BPDh is telling you he cannot give you what you want and that he doesn't believe it can be fixed. It is his truth.

I spent decades trying to change/live with/accept my xBPDh. He was very honest early on in the relationship and told me how damaged/unworthy he was and that he would do nothing but hurt me. I seriously thought I could help him and prove that he was wrong.

The problem was, it wasn't within my power to do so.

After many recycles, I finally woke up from the FOG and realized just how much of myself I had lost.

We all have our own path and only you can decide what is best for you and when it is best for you.

I took the long path.

[SillyFilly]

All I keep thinking is was it really that bad with him? 

I could have done this and I could have done that etc.