Hi _Joy_: One possible way to answer is to use a group of "I" Statements, as a reply to her text. Perhaps it would be best in an email.
First, check out the info. below to either get acquainted with or refresh your understanding of "I" Statement:
The 19-minute video at the link below is a helpful tutorial for using "I" Statements:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDExNRJCUp0The template and sample below could be helpful as well.How To Use I-Statements:
Start by identifying how you feel: mad, sad, frustrated, etc.
I feel __________
State the reason you feel this way or what happened that led you to those feelings.
when __________
Try to identify the reason the person’s actions led to those feelings for you.
because __________
Let the person know what you want instead.
I would like __________ .
Example:
Your spouse snaps at you during dinner and it really hurt your feelings. Here’s an I-statement to use with this scenario:
I feel hurt when you snap at me like that because I worked hard to cook this nice dinner for us. I would like you to use nicer words and tone with me, and to know if something happened today that has led you to be in a bad mood.
Sample 1
I need interaction between us to be mutually respectful and supportive. I am fearful to let anyone into my child's life, unless they demonstrate that they can consistently treat me with respect. if I'm not treated with respect, then I have to assume that my child won't either.
Sample 2
I feel insulted when I'm called names. It is disrespectful. I don't have the power to stop anyone who participates in name calling, but I can choose to not associate with them.
What would you like to tell your mom? Want to take a crack at your own "I" Statements?