Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 17, 2017, 12:43:16 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Administrator: heartandwhole
Moderators: Meili, once removed
Member support team: DaddyBear77, Flourdust, Tattered Heart, Turkish, wendydarling, Woolspinner2000
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Please Donate Login Register  
Poll
Question: As one who read this article, how do you rate it?
Excellent - 4 (22.2%)
Good - 6 (33.3%)
Fair - 2 (11.1%)
Poor - 6 (33.3%)
Total Voters: 18

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Relationship Quality and Stability When One Partner is BPD - Sébastien Bouchard  (Read 2156 times)
Skip
Site Director
***
Offline Offline

Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 5857


« on: March 28, 2017, 07:54:58 AM »

Relationship Quality and Stability in Couples When One Partner Suffers From Borderline Personality Disorder
Sébastien Bouchard, Stéphane Sabourin, Yvan Lussier and Evens Villeneuve

The main goal of the present study was to examine and compare the psychosocial functioning of 35 couples where the woman was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to that of a nonclinical control sample of 35 couples.

The BPD status of women from the clinical group and the prevalence of personality disorder in their partner were ascertained through the SCID-II. Participants completed self-report measures of couple functioning.

A majority of couples in which the woman suffered from BPD (68.7%) evidenced frequent episodes of breakups and reconciliations and, over an 18-month period, nearly 30% of these couples dissolved their relationship.

Nearly half of the men involved in a romantic relationship with a woman suffering from BPD met criteria for one personality disorder or more.

When compared with non-borderline couples, borderline couples showed lower marital satisfaction, higher attachment insecurity, more demand/withdraw communication problems, and higher levels of violence.
Logged

Kyanite


Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 32



WWW
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2017, 01:55:00 PM »

I am also curious about more details, or a link to the original study. What kinds of PD did the partners tend to have? were there more or fewer breakups in the cases when both partners had PDs, or when only 1 did?

The high incidence itself doesn;'t surprise me, as it matches my experience. I think my mom had/has BPD, and I think my dad has at least some NPD traits. (Neither is diagnosed). It also makes sense to me that partners with a PD would be attracted to others with a PD (or at least severe codependency).

Yes, I do wonder what this means for me...
Logged

-Kyanite

The blue stone that transmutes negativity help me do the same.
stayingsteady
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 58


« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2017, 04:39:05 PM »

I agree with this article,

There are three clusters of personality disorders, cluster A, cluster B, and cluster C.  While BPD falls in the cluster B subtype, many of their codependent partners may fit the criteria of a disorder in the cluster C subtype (the anxious/fearful cluster).  A nice article that explains the Cluster C subtype is here:

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-c/

After reviewing the article, I was able to personally identify with some components of each listed personality disorder.

One sentence from this article really stood out to me.  It is part of the Dependent Personality Disorder description:

"In order to avoid conflict, they [the individual with Dependent Personality Disorder] may have great difficulty standing up for themselves. The intense fear of losing a relationship makes them vulnerable to manipulation and abuse."

I can definitely see how this would fit in a codependent relationship with an individual with BPD.
Logged

Skip
Site Director
***
Offline Offline

Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 5857


« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2017, 05:18:52 PM »

Yes, I do wonder what this means for me...

A question that we all should ask.

It might even be the case that people with no diagnosis of mental health problems avoid or ultimately reject those that have, and this dynamic will skew the results.

One of the most common pairing are people with BPD traits and people with NPD traits. A lot of pairings are in couples with attachment issues. Many of the pairings discussed on this site are subclinical pairings - both partners have some, but not all traits of the disorder or are on a severity spectrum below a clinical threshold.

Bowen's family theory says that we partner with others of a similar emotional maturity level.

What does this means for us? 

That we should look at ourselves and look at where we can improve.
Logged

Shane87


Offline Offline

Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 45


« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2017, 05:29:09 PM »

I agree with this article,

There are three clusters of personality disorders, cluster A, cluster B, and cluster C.  While BPD falls in the cluster B subtype, many of their codependent partners may fit the criteria of a disorder in the cluster C subtype (the anxious/fearful cluster).  A nice article that explains the Cluster C subtype is here:

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-c/

After reviewing the article, I was able to personally identify with some components of each listed personality disorder.

One sentence from this article really stood out to me.  It is part of the Dependent Personality Disorder description:

"In order to avoid conflict, they [the individual with Dependent Personality Disorder] may have great difficulty standing up for themselves. The intense fear of losing a relationship makes them vulnerable to manipulation and abuse."

I can definitely see how this would fit in a codependent relationship with an individual with BPD.

Thank you.  Good points.

I can easily see how people with Avoidant Personality Disorder could find themselves paired with someone who has BPD.  I can also see how someone married to a pwBPD could develop Avoidant Personality Disorder over time.
Logged
Fr4nz
****
Offline Offline

Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 568



« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2017, 02:42:46 PM »

Just to complement Skip's post...this is the scientific article behind this thread: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19785701
« Last Edit: April 11, 2017, 02:56:42 PM by Fr4nz » Logged
Beardface

Offline Offline

Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4


« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2017, 05:56:34 AM »

Quote
I do wonder what this means for me...
I am completely questioning this right now too. Reading through the PD clusters I wholly relate to;
Quote
The Avoidant Personality Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and a hypersensitivity to negative evaluation. People with this disorder are intensely afraid that others will ridicule them, reject them, or criticize them.
Quote
Their way of thinking about and interpreting the world revolves around the thought that they are not good enough, and that others don't like them. They think of themselves as unappealing and socially inept.

My BPDex always said I was a 'Schizoid' (SPD), as she works with them during group (viewing it now I think she was using her biased view of me, being 'solitary or sheltered, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy' when really I act like that coz I am so scared of criticism and sometimes feel I'm not deserved enough to feel 'happy')
My issue now is, being out of the relationship, I'm feeling all this more than ever...and so many questions!;

Did the relationship make my traits worse?

Am I just more aware of it all now, after crash coursing BPD, CBT, DBT, TA etc for the last 6 months (coz I had ZERO knowledge of this stuff before)?

I spend last year 'improving' myself, and picking up my ex at a bar was part of that (At the time felt like a HUGE leap forward), but were we just 'meant' to be attracted to each other? as PD attracts PD (even though she only told me about her BPD weeks after)

If she knew she misdiagnosed me, could we have made it work (I am not being 'cold', I am emotionally paralyzed with the anxiety of the situation)?

How do I move forward from this now?

Am I 'destined' to attract/be attracted to those with BPD/PDs? (I'm not sure I can deal with it again)



 
Logged
flourdust
Board advisor
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1233



« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2017, 09:00:04 AM »

Good discussion. Folks -- be very careful about self-diagnosis.

We are all to some degree insecure, clingy, avoidant, perfectionist, narcissistic, depressed, anxious, etc. Personality disorders all describe traits that everyone has to some degree or in some circumstances, but taken to such a distorted extreme as to warp a person's life and relationship with reality.

To quote from the mentalhelp.net link above:
Quote
It is important to remember that everyone can exhibit some of these personality traits from time to time. To meet the diagnostic requirement of a personality disorder, these traits must be inflexible; i.e., they can be repeatedly observed without regard to time, place, or circumstance. Furthermore, these traits must cause functional impairment and/or subjective distress. Functional impairment means these traits interfere with a person's ability to functional well in society. The symptoms cause problems with interpersonal relationships; or at work, school, or home. Subjective distress means the person with a personality disorder may experience their symptoms as unwanted, harmful, painful, embarrassing, or otherwise cause them significant distress.
Logged

Mutt
Ambassador
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 9639



WWW
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2017, 02:26:51 PM »

Hmm, I don't think that it has to tilt into the extreme to impact your quality of life, like Skip said you can look at yourself and see where you can make improvements. I agree that I have attachment issues that I would probably need help with but some of that was just anxiety and I realized that I probably have major depressive disorder, i've been depressed for most of my adult life.

The point i'm trying to make is take care of yourself, we can improve our quality of life without it having to warped to major degree, maybe if I taken care of my depression I would of been more motivated and had more opportunities in life, it's something that I can work on now, betettr late than never. The difference between not being medicated for depression and being medicated with a medication that works for me has made a huge difference.

I understand that it's difficult for some people to find medication that works, I also exercise to try to stay ahead of depression and anxiety, it's like my doctor said, don't stop because you feel better you still want to do this when you feel better so that the symptoms stay at bay.

Exercise helps with 80% of people with making them feel better by boosting their mood. I don't want to invalidate anyone being saying that you have to follow my recipe to feel better, find what works right for you, it might be trying different meds before you find the right one for you, there's no one right recipe.
Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Links and Information
CLINICAL INFORMATION
The Big Picture
5 Dimensions of Personality
BPD? How can I know?
Get Someone into Therapy
Treatment of BPD
Full Clinical Definition
Top 50 Questions

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENTS
My Child has BPD
My Parent/Sibling has BPD
My Significant Other has BPD
Recovering a Breakup
My Failing Romance
Endorsed Books
Archived Articles

RELATIONSHIP TOOLS
How to Stop Reacting
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Values and Boundaries
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

MESSAGEBOARD GENERAL
Membership Eligibility
Messageboard Guidelines
Directory
Suicidal Ideation
Domestic Violence
ABOUT US
Mission
Policy and Disclaimers
Professional Endorsements
Wikipedia
Facebook

Google+(Member)
Google+ (Professional)
BPDFamily.org

Your Account
Settings

Moderation Appeal
Become a Sponsor
Sponsorship Account


Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2017, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!