How many times was your ex BPD married?

[love4meNOTu]

I have been curious if anyone else's x BPD was married multiple times. If you wouldn't mind, please respond as to which ex spouse you were (I was number 3) and perhaps how long the marriage lasted?

I am interested to see if this lines up with divorce statistics by population or if statistics are higher based on the unique challenges of this disorder.

[Icefog]

I suspect this is just formal marriage. I think it's important to remember that many long term relationships don't involve marriage. For instance my ex BPD partner has been married twice but has had a 20 year history of two to 3 year relationships that were considered common law and hold the same weight as a marriage.

[love4meNOTu]

Hi icefog, yes, just formal marriage resulting in divorce or it will skew the stats when comparing to national averages.

[Pretty Woman]

My ex was married 1x at 20. She met him when she was living at a church, unwed and pregnant.

She dated him while pregnant, briefly left him to go back to the father of her unborn child... .who was married, broke up that marriage and then went back to the doting boyfriend who fell for her sob story hook line and sinker... .like me.

She gave up the baby for adoption and was  married for about a year in which he ran off to Hawaii for four months of that because of the fighting while she lived with his parents.

She then came out as gay and has had about ten partners since then (she's 45) and recycles between two main exes every five years or so.

[Doughboy]

My uBPDexfiance was married twice.  1st from 7/1997 to 8/2011.  2nd from 10/2012 to 4/2015.  I came into the picture 8/2015 (We knew each other from high school).  We split in 6/2016, back together 8/2016, and split again in 4/2017.  We got engaged 10/2016.

[lipstick]

My ex is still married to the same person. We were both supposed to seek divorces from our then respective spouses. I followed through. My ex did not. He dumped me in an incredibly cruel fashion and returned to a life that he never really left.

Ex will celebrate 29 years of "wedded bliss" this coming December. I have strong suspicions that his spouse also has a personality disorder of some kind. They definitely deserve each other. Can you say "domestic violence"? 

Painful lessons learned - but I'm better for the experience. The ex is not. 

[chillamom]

My ex was never married, but our relationship spanned 8 years, which time wise I guess could qualify for a marriage.  I was his only long term relationship.  I was married from 1981 to 2012, although the marriage was essentially over in 2008.  We just took a few years to get the actual divorce accomplished. So, at age 59, I had a long marriage and then went right into the relationship with the exBPD/NPD.   Guess I was my ex's pseudo-starter "marriage".

[hopealways]

I have been curious if anyone else's x BPD was married multiple times. If you wouldn't mind, please respond as to which ex spouse you were (I was number 3) and perhaps how long the marriage lasted?

I am interested to see if this lines up with divorce statistics by population or if statistics are higher based on the unique challenges of this disorder.

"A history of unstable interpersonal relationships" = multiple marriages is common among BPD and a RED flag.