Hi Lsyt - thank you for posting, and welcome to the bpdfamily
I'm really sorry to hear how hard things are right now. My daughter is a lot younger than yours, but I can understand the feeling of being stuck in the middle. It sounds like you've discovered that your husband may have traits of BPD. There are a lot of resources here that can help you understand what that means in terms of living inside the romantic relationship yourself AND in terms of co-parenting with someone who has traits of BPD.
You posted here on the "Saving a Relationship" board - can you tell us a little bit more about the kinds of things going on between you and your pwBPD (person with BPD)? Are the biggest issues those surrounding raising your children? Or are there other big issues that need to be addressed?
In the mean time, I hope you've taken a look at the tools we list out on the right hand side, including the article about
Understanding your partner's behaviorsPlease keep posting and I look forward to reading more soon.
~DaddyBear77