Why oh why didn't I get the message?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So I ended up sending a nice text to my ex this morning thinking I was strong enough... .it didn't come up delivered right away. So I called her and it rang the normal 4 or 5 times. I thought I may have been blocked, but it looks like I wasn't. I left a voice mail. No response back and I am feeling regret for doing this. I guess in the long run it's not gonna hurt me, because she knows I still consider us friends, but it does hurt my feelings a little, especially the addicted part of my brain... .I will make this a valuable lesson and not to do it again. Just needed to get that off my chest, and I realize my mistake. Thanks for letting me share. Peace

[Emotions]

So I ended up sending a nice text to my ex this morning thinking I was strong enough... .it didn't come up delivered right away. So I called her and it rang the normal 4 or 5 times. I thought I may have been blocked, but it looks like I wasn't. I left a voice mail. No response back and I am feeling regret for doing this. I guess in the long run it's not gonna hurt me, because she knows I still consider us friends, but it does hurt my feelings a little, especially the addicted part of my brain... .I will make this a valuable lesson and not to do it again. Just needed to get that off my chest, and I realize my mistake. Thanks for letting me share. Peace

[Mutt]

Hi Emotions,

That sounds like that walking on eggshells feeling with our pwBPD. Cut yourself some slack, it's all a learning curve. Was there a trigger that compelled you to message her?

[Emotions]

Good question. I'm not sure if there was a specific trigger or not. I guess I was feeling really good this morning, so I thought I could handle it. Also my job is ending soon, and this would have been the time I would start packing up and moving back in with her In the next week or two. I can't think of a specific trigger, but it worth me thinking and seeing if there is. Thanks for the response.