katyn
Fewer than 3 Posts
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1
|
 |
« on: June 13, 2017, 04:50:41 AM » |
|
I'm looking for some kind advice, or maybe just support. We are actually not together at the moment. He broke up with me 10 days ago because he felt stressed out and then went on a rant cheating on me with 2 different girls to avert us getting back together.
We've been together for 8 months and this 5th break-up was the time when it became loud and clear for me that he had BPD. We had a fight over a minor thing, before the event he was away for 3 weeks studying for a very difficult exam, got the flu meanwhile and was struggling with that as well, so it's been a very stressful period for him, and for me as well struggling with my own stuff. He passed the exam on Friday, we met right after and spent the day and evening together, end of the day resulted in the fight. The next day we were supposed to go to my friend's wedding in the countryside which was stressing him out but didn't say a word about that to me. So being exhausted, ill and stressed out he wanted to take drugs to let some steam off and I didn't want him to do that for obvious health reasons and also beacuse we were supposed to travel the next day. I repeatedly told him that he didn't have to come if he didn't feel like and wanted to take a rest at home, but then why taking drugs? He snapped at me called me selfish and someone who only thinks about themselves ans rushed out the door. I could not react to the accusations coming from out of the blue, one minute everything was fine, the next I did not understand what was happening. After he ran away I called him but he kept telling me the same things, he hang up and I tried to let him calm down. The next day he didn't answer his phone, I went to the wedding alone and on Monday when I got back home he took all his stuff from my flat and when we met he told me that he cheated on me with two different girls. All I could see on his face was anger. Only after experiencing my reactions to this and having talked to his psychiatrist did he realize what he did, started to feel the guilt and pain, but he still does not accept BPD as a diagnosis. He's not being honest with his therapist either, he's hiding his mood swings and the fact that he previously had a few suicide attempts.
I myself was diagnosed with BPD 3 years ago, but I've been dealing with the thing (with therapy, meds and DBT) showing big improvement, I've been in stable, loving realtionships and have stable close friends who support me and with whom I can share everything about myself. He has none of that, though he's seemingly more functional, he can live up to his social roles, but he has no friends, been in and out turbulent realtionships filled with cheating, betrayal and no trust, has substance abuse issues and IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). This latter (IBS), constant abdominal pain, diarrhea and vomitting, he's been dealing with all alone for 9 years, when we started dating I convinced him to go to therapy and after being prescribed SSRI his symptoms ceased, but now that we broke up they came back. He seems to understand the amount of pain he caused to me and regrets everything, but not sure he wants to get back together though he implied. I know for sure that I want to be with him, though I am aware of the emotional burden I am undertaking. Shall I give it another try or shall I leave it? Not sure if I can...
|
