Has anyone on here had a successful relationship or are they all doomed?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Is there any truth that a successful relationship can it be achieved ?
Or does it just take a few weeks to come out the fog to see what actually happened in the relationship?

I know it would be bias on this as most people are experiencing problems, but I'm curious if anyone has managed to bring they're relationship a bit closer to a normal life, or is this a dream ?

[lucky013]

Is there any truth that a successful relationship can it be achieved ?
Or does it just take a few weeks to come out the fog to see what actually happened in the relationship?

I know it would be bias on this as most people are experiencing problems, but I'm curious if anyone has managed to bring they're relationship a bit closer to a normal life, or is this a dream ?

[lenfan]

I am new to this too and have been wondering the same thing. Even on the boards that deal with improving the relationships, the stories seem pretty discouraging. I suppose part of the answer has to do with how you define a successful relationship. Retiring hand in hand after a lifetime of love and affection? Just not getting a divorce? Something in between? I suppose you never really know how successful a relationship was until you can look back over many years or decades to see how it all played out. From what I have experienced in the several months I have been reading the books and looking at this site, things seem to be a bit better. I am fortunate in that my upwBPD is  very high functioning and I have not had to deal with the extreme behaviors I have been reading about, but I do worry now that I have a better idea of what is going on that things could deteriorate if I am not very careful. However, overall the strategies discussed on this site and in the books have helped me stay calm, have kept things from escalating more than they otherwise would have, and helped me to appreciate the good times more.  Even though it's not the kind of relationship I wanted or expected, I'll call that success for now and hope things improve.  I wish you your own success, whatever you decide that is.

[Gumiho]

I've been thinking the same~
Asking if people would marry their pwBPD if they knew about the illness is the very same topic in disguise. Marriage - if you knew about BPD before
I still haven't read many successful stories.
Well, when I read s.sch<quacksalver's> page being so utterly deterogatory about relationships with BPD, I thought to myself, there have to be successful stories too, given the frequency this illness occurs in our society.

I guess it's about what we choose our dream to be like in the end.