He died quickly at the age of 43. It has been 3 months. How do I grieve this?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi all,

Now the physical part ended. He died quickly at the age of 43. It has been 3 months.

It seems that the grief if too much for me. I don't blame him, not angry. After al it was my "child" that died, and he was improving.

The cause of death is even worst. AIDS he even didn't know he had it, luckily I didn't get infected, but now that doesn't make me feel any better.

How do we grief this? This is worst than anything I have been through.

Thank you
Jox

[Jox]

Hi all,

Now the physical part ended. He died quickly at the age of 43. It has been 3 months.

It seems that the grief if too much for me. I don't blame him, not angry. After al it was my "child" that died, and he was improving.

The cause of death is even worst. AIDS he even didn't know he had it, luckily I didn't get infected, but now that doesn't make me feel any better.

How do we grief this? This is worst than anything I have been through.

Thank you
Jox

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[hope2727]

I am so sorry for your suffering. You are not alone. Please be kind to yourself. 

[earlyL]

Hi Jox,

I am so sorry to read your post, I don't know your story but this must be incredibly painful. Do you have friends around you as well right now? Please do share as much as you can if helpful here, we are all supporting you. As hope says, you are not alone.

EL

[Jox]

Thank you for condolences,

I just wanted to say that the unhealthy relationship leads to unhealthy mourning process. Very few people live this.

I read that the most painful grief is a spouse, not a child.
Difficult grief is if the relationship was not good and there was unsolved problems.

And us, who are doctors, caretakers, parents, friends all but spouses, yet we are spouses after all, even after death the work is not over.

[Pedro]

Dear Jox.

I am so sorry for your loss with sincere condolences to you also.

Please make use of any support that may be available to you be it family, relatives, friends or professionally.

God bless and love to you at this time.

Pedro.

[isilme]

Jox,

Just remember there is no "normal" in regards to grief, and there is no deadline for it.  It's just a part of life from now on, and the only great healer, sadly, is time.  Give yourself permission to your feelings - none are wrong, none are taking too long to process, none are to be judged.

I'm sorry