Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
December 26, 2024, 06:44:14 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: High Functioning BPD ex is much more successful than I am  (Read 837 times)
Dargumin
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 80


« on: August 21, 2017, 07:46:32 PM »

I had written a  huge essay about every detail of why I believe my ex has High Functioning BPD and was going to make that  my 1st post. Instead I'll jump in with this.

I just find my mind getting especially hung up on one point lately (18 weeks since we split - we were only together 10 weeks but friends 9 years) and that is her career success vs my lack of it.  The fact that someone with such a skewed sense of reality can hold down a job like IT Business Analyst for a major retailer in the UK makes me question myself constantly.  Yes I do believe I have adult ADHD (inattentive) and possibly Dyspraxia, but surely that cant be more debilitating than not being able to perceive reality or regulate emotional response?   

It really seems so unjust that I'm left with a broken heart, mourning both the loss of a lover and a friend and blocked from all forms of contact & struggling to get anywhere career wise - whilst she is well over me, dating all the replacements she can and juggling this with a great career.  How do High Functioning types manage to keep it together so well at work?   And is it common for them to be workaholics like my ex is?

Logged
Lost-love-mind
a.k.a. beezleconduit
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 207


WWW
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2017, 08:23:55 PM »

My exBPD has a good job as a furniture assembly line worker. For the 8 weeks together she would text me before she went to sleep every wirknight at 9 or 9:30.
Then again every morning before leaving for work at 6 am. Very diligent but always told me about sleep problems. Falling to sleep mostly. She ate non GMO food and filtered water. But she would eat 6-8 times or more a day.
Sleep issues and eating disorders are symptoms of BPD. I'm not sure if either of her issues are applicable to her erratic behavior (possible BPD) in blacking me after the breakup. I was called a loser with no life since I told her last week (8 weeks after the breakup) that I still cared for her.
I can't give an answer on high functioning BPD, but just wanted to share my experience and piggyback on your post. It's pretty close. Hope we get an answer. Good luck.
Logged

I'm a pwBPD traits, diagnosed.
happendtome
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 217


« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2017, 03:04:53 AM »

My ex is also high functioning with a good job. To be honest, i think she was just lucky to get that job. She cant be fired easily either as there seems to be enormous bureaucracy and nowadyas we have these "womens rights" thing too. Its a good thing technically, but for some women this is just a tool to achieve more than they would actually deserve.
So probably she could live well off and her future is secured, but i dont miss that. Yes, i do wonder how it is possible, but thats how it is. I cant change that.

Anyway, she still borrowed money from me and i know that if i would be with her then she would make sure that all my money would be always "well spent". So in the end i would be financially dependent on her. She would make sure that i wouldnt have a choice to walk away. It doesnt matter that she herself would walk away whenever she would like it. And thats what she also did. Maybe she even didnt like that i was able to be independent on my own. Its hard to control someone who doesnt depend on you. I see lots of people trapped in marriages where they cant go away as they have no resources to live on their own. There are lots of miserable relationships if you start to look around.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!