Hi TMD,
Grief takes what it takes. I think that these relationships we find ourselves in, have an additional aspect of grief. In that we are often grieving a relationship that wasn't healthy for us. I've heard people say that they are grieving the relationship they hoped to have, or thought they were having.
This can be complicated or complex grief.
Hi Ducks,
What I've told people here is that I'm grieving what I thought I had, and I knew that I was primarily a caregiver, but I thought I had a good understanding of the relationship. Turns out I was wrong. I still think, in the long run, I will be better off without him; however, I'm still grieving.
Go figure.
I know you were expecting the divorce papers. You knew this was coming. Still, it's been my experience that even knowing something was coming doesn't mitigate the feelings when it arrives.
Yeah. It really didn't mitigate the impact at all. :/
are you taking steps to protect yourself financially? legally? divorce from disordered people usually entails a lot of conflict.
'ducks
Because of the divorce proceedings 9 years ago, I'm really gun shy regarding attorneys so I don't have one yet.
I'm looking for someone who will keep the drama down. I found one online who used the be a counselor and has certification in alternative resolution.I will call her on Monday. She may or may not be a good fit. I'll know once I talk with her.
Regarding taking steps to protect myself financially: Technically, I'm protected by a prenup. Nine years ago, his family, who are trustees of the trust H and I live on, fought me the entire way. It was an unmitigated disaster.
I am hoping, and slightly hopeful, that no one from his family will fight me. I am not wanting drama. Not at all.
However, if it devolves into chaos, if H is wanting court to be the opportunity where he can lie about me, I do have copies of what I consider threatening emails. I have the video he shot and so on, so I'd be able to fight back.
A fight is not what I want. I want to move on.
And thank you for the reply to my other post. I did stretch out, it does help the breathing.
PTSD isn't a whole lot of fun.
Thank you, Ducks!
TMD