And the hard part... .give her more space. Just back up a little bit and wait to see if she says anything or she is comfortable. Back off a little more... .make each connection more fun, just fewer of them.
This is excellent advice. I did this. It helped a ton to see someone actually pursue me when I was questioning the relationship.
I had a hard time with the lack of Love bombing basically, I wanted it. I wanted someone that was constantly showering me. I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted all those things, the fast, deep connection I felt I had with my BPDx.
But that is not healthy at all and we have learned that. Still doesn't mean we don't want it.
So here we are stuck in the middle. What is normal?
Every relationship, every person is different.
The gal I am currently with, she posts pictures of herself on facebook and snap chat all the time. I have gotten one, because I asked for it.
At first it made me upset, jealous even. I felt that I should be getting them first or only sent to me. Then I realized that I am trying to force my view of what a relationship should look like on her.
The first clue to me was that I was the one upset. So if the interaction is within my boundaries, then the problem is in me, not her. Then I over analyzed it like I normally do.
I wanted to take it as a sign that she didn't want me or was shopping for someone else.
As time went on I realized that it was how she was keeping up with her friends now since she had been devoting so much time to me she didn't get to see them as much. e.g. New car, new hair, new nails, new shoes. The pictures are directed at girly friends.
It seems silly but weights and measures work. If you can't talk it out, see what her actions are. Does she pursue you or just let you fade away?
Might be a good test. Help you see things differently, for me it calmed a lot of insecurities.
See if your fears are valid, face them is the only way they will go away.
Confidence is good as well, just like skip said it is attractive.
I am certainly afraid my GF is going to leave me at some point, and I will never tell her that because that does not portray confidence.
but I feel that way because she is that special too me and I don't want to lose her. It is not an insecurity that I have or an unresolved abandonment issue.
So check your fears and why you have them.