Disrespect in public?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Does your pwBPD go out of their way not to disrespect you in public?

Mine seems to be on his Ps and Qs when we are in public or around other people... .Is there a reason for this?

[lostandconfused6]

Does your pwBPD go out of their way not to disrespect you in public?

Mine seems to be on his Ps and Qs when we are in public or around other people... .Is there a reason for this?

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Lunira]

My mother was (and still is) that way, as well.  I don't know if it is like this with all BPD, but she's always been concerned about what people in general (neighbors, etc.)  think of her.

[Tired_Dad]

My spouse has a tendency to try to look perfect and want others to think that she has it all together. However, she has a habit of trying to pick fights with me to set me off when we are at family gatherings or to feel slighted by someone else there and want me to confront them. Lots of accusations of me "needing to have her back" when she is clearly in the wrong with the other person and there is no way that I am going to blindly just back her up anymore.

I'm pretty certain that it's a control thing as she somehow thinks that I won't confront her on her behavior when we are in a group yet over the past 13+ years I have always been very direct with her when she does this and it usually ends with her going into another room or leaving early after which everyone ends up my son and I who always stay being more at ease.

[lostandconfused6]

My pwBPD has waitied until our friends have gone outside or are distracted and will say something to upset me because he knows ill have a "crazy" reaction so I look bad and he looks perfect because no one knows what he has done or said to me

[BowlOfPetunias]

Two issues here:

1) There are the times when she just blurts out something disrespectful or embarrassing because she does not have a filter.  For example, telling people about my medical conditions/treatments without my consent.

2) There are the times when when she says something mean or mocks me in front of other people because she thinks she can get away with it.  For example, repeatedly "teasing" me about being concerned that we would be late--oh, see, he was worried about nothing!  We are here and they still haven't let us in!  And we paid more for parking!  He was soo worried for nothing.  And we paid so much for parking!  And they haven't let us in yet!--I am so embarrassed, the last thing I want to do is fight back in front of other people.