Hi everyone, thought Id check in... . Well life is moving on dramatically now... .I've now taken up a secondment at work and will be joining a new team for 3 months.
I have been on 2 dates, chatting with a handful of women that are being extremely complimentary... .I got called hot by 2 of them! I know its probably not the text book way of doing things... .(needing validation from other women), but its really working for me... .It is building my self-esteem and confidence daily.
I have told all the women that I want nothing more than friendship and this seems to spur them on even more!
Its all about self worth... . That's what I'm understanding now. I'm looking back to how I was when I met exBPDgf. I was not in a good place and wanted to make amends for my lack off attentiveness with my ex wife... .but I went way overboard. What Ive realised now is that I basically were kissing her butt... .And BPD or not, its not an attractive quality to have your butt kissed... .
I pandered to her right from the word go, and she lapped it up, chewed me up and spat me out!
Thing is now, she is in contact with me still. We emailed back and forth last night, in a friendly manner, but because I'm also messaging other women, she does not take a priority anymore, and it does not cut me up. Fact is I like texting her and chatting to her, but I also have other interests and realised theres a whole other world out there... . Im in no rush to be with anyone and happy on my own... .
I mentioned the 180 plan in another thread and believe me, its working again. It is working a treat.
I no longer feel down or sad or in need of her. My addiction is dwindling. I will be honest and say that she is still on my mind, but no where near as much. I don't wake up and think of her first anymore.
I am having a lot of fun and am free to meet new people and do what I want without fear of repercussions. Whenever Im interacting with new ladies I can see where I went wrong before. I gave ex the confidence to treat me like dirt, because I was an ass kisser. I can see it now because some of the women are doing it to me, and its a turn off.
Anyway, I just wanted to send an update in and let you know how things are. I think I'm in week 8 of the break up and it really is just amazing how you can turn your life around if you really want.
I guess the scariest thing is letting go... . But once you've done that (or in the process of), life will alter dramatically and you'll start to enjoy it again
Hope everyone is doing well !
