My Daughter

[Miracle 1]

My daughter has BPD.  She is 15 and has been in therapy since she was 8 and on medication since she was 10.  Our life is a roller coaster and I hate that I can't help her out of the hell that she lives in.  I truly had hope at the beginning and thought that the therapy and doctors would save her.  Then when that didn't happen, I turned to books and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong as a parent.  I have so many books!  Recently her antidepressant stopped working and she is suicidal again.  I know I am not saying anything that is new on this forum.  I just feel so alone in the world.  My daughter doesn't brush her hair.  She has major anxiety and nobody wants to be her friend.  She wants out of this life.  My heart breaks daily for her.  She is my first miracle that came to us through adoption.  I am here because I want to connect with other parents like me.  I don't want to feel so alone!  Thank you for reading my post.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Aw, Miracle-1, you need a hug! 

First of all, you are not alone.   There are so many who have posted similar stories to yours.   Having a child utter the word "suicide" leaves a parent feeling so scared and so helpless.

Secondly I want to say that you are being unfair to yourself when you have thoughts of having done something "wrong" resulting in your daughter's diagnosis of BPD.  BPD is an illness of the mind.  All we can do as parents is try to learn how to better help our children... .and it seems you have been doing your homework.  You are doing the best you can, Miracle-1... .and when you know better... .you are going to do better.

You write that your daughter's antidepressant has stopped working.  What are her doctor's recommending now?  Also, do you get counselling for yourself?

Keep posting, Miracle-1.  You are being heard.