Feel like I'm heading toward a nervous breakdown

[Ambush]

I am new to computers and also to this website so I hope people see this. I have been with my BPD for 17 years and it has been tough   I need help knowing I am not alone with this topic  it is just that my nerves have gotten so bad that I have started picking on myself  it seems I seek out every little bump or flaw on skin -face-legs-arms- and I pick at it to the point of having scabs then pick at the scabs.  I know this is a nervous condition but cant seem to stop. My BPD has noticed these nervous habits and how I am actually getting to what I think is a nervous breakdown stage.  He has been under pys. care since before we met and did very honestly tell me about his BPD . He invited me to one his sessions thru the VA and she suggested couples counseling  which we start this week.  So I feel like I have  come to the edge and was ready to lose it but the fight in me is not over so I thank the Big guy upstairs for giving a little hope  A little determination to get me back and hopefully not have to trash the last 17 years of our life together     thanks for the ear   Ambush

 

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Ambush,



Welcome to the community. I'm so glad that you decided to post.  I'm sorry that things have been so tough. I can understand feeling nervous and like things are getting worse for you. I had several physical symptoms during my relationship as well.

You are definitely not alone. And there is hope for things to get better. You'll find many members here who understand what you are going through. 

I think counseling is a great idea. We all need support, and an objective and caring perspective can help a lot. Will you also be able to get counseling just for yourself, Ambush? I highly recommend it if you can.

Have you explored alternatives to picking your skin? Vigorous exercise might help. And/or meditative activities/hobbies. When I get very nervous, I try to focus on my breathing. Sometimes making the exhalation just a bit longer than the inhalation can help, but just focusing on the breath can be enough to slow things down, mentally and physically.

Keep posting. We're here to support you.

heartandwhole

[pearlsw]

Hi Ambush,

Glad you found us here! Sorry you are having some physical issues related to the stress the relationship is putting you under. I know at times I get stress symptoms too - sometimes facial pain and oftentimes feeling on edge not knowing what to expect with my partner's behavior.

I hope the couple's counseling will be beneficial. I would highly recommend you supplement it by doing reading here. Counseling is typically once a week so with all that extra time in between doing some extra work here, by reading and practicing new communication skills, could help provide you support and bring some clarity to the situation.

I did couple's counseling with a non BPD partner a long time ago and I think if I'd had a site like this then, to study up on, and see how others were coping with relationship issues, things could have gone much better. There is definitely hope - you can do a lot to at least not make things worse through improved understanding and a few basic tools.

What has brought your relationship to this point at the 17 year mark? Has something been going on lately that is making things more difficult, or is that and the cumulative effect over the years?

wishing you well,

pearlsw.