she was just carried out on a stretcher

[Lady Itone]

Two weeks after our break up. One week after I last saw her. Got a bunch of crazy texts, so I texted her back "You sound like you're getting psychotic, hon." This morning, an insane message on my voicemail while I was at work, 3 full minutes of wailing and nonsense words.

So I contacted her therapist, her brother, her housemate. Sure enough, the housemate confirmed the exgirlfriend was having a psychotic episode, and she (housemate) had confronted her, and when she refused to voluntarily to to the hospital, she called the sherriff, and our girl took off. Housemate looked at her pills bottles, and apparently she' taken all of her adderall over the last few days, and none of her antipsychotic.

Somehow, in her psychotic state, she made it to my house 30something miles away. The bus? I was chilling in my yard, and I could hear her wailing as she walked down my street, somehow I just knew she'd make it here.  She wouldnt stop screaming, I finally called an ambulance. They forced her to take a shot, carried her away strapped to a stretcher, having seizures.

FML!  All my neighbors came out, now everyone knows I dated a crazy person. I couldn't help her, I could not chill her out. She was dirty, her eyes rolling back into her head, it was so scary and sad.

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[Turkish]

That does sound both scary and sad... .will you be updated on how she turns out,  and do you feel like you will be safe of the future?

[Emotions]

Did the shot give her seizures, or was she already having them? My ex/ friend takes adderal and I just want to know in case she takes too many (wouldn't be the first time either) sorry you had to witness that.

[Lady Itone]

Her housemate is an e.r. nurse who will take her back but only if she complies with her meds. I am "safe" in that she genuinely came to me for help not to hurt me. It does not make me happy that I'm who she runs to when stuff hits the fan. I want to be a friend I care about her but I'm burned out.

She took a ridiculous amount of adderall to get to that state.

[pearlsw]

Hi LadyItone,

That does sound very scary to have witnessed! Sounds like her roommate has a good handle on things though and is able to keep an eye on her. It was nice of you to help her get the medical help she needed.

What's next for you regarding this ex?

wishing you peace, pearlsw.

[Lady Itone]

Hi LadyItone,

That does sound very scary to have witnessed! Sounds like her roommate has a good handle on things though and is able to keep an eye on her. It was nice of you to help her get the medical help she needed.

What's next for you regarding this ex?

wishing you peace, pearlsw.

Scary and so sad, I hate seeing my Amazon Queen so broken down and scared   Her housemate/bestie/boss is awesome, my exgf pays reduced rent in return helps her take care of her amazing 11 year old daughter. She's very good with kids, kids really bring out the best in my ex. But her housemate, though a sympathetic person who loves her, is also a single mom with a hectic job and a precocious daughter to raise. She will only put up with so much nonsense. In the past, girlfriend would bring all her craziness to me and that kept things at her house calm. Now she can't come to my house and freak out, it's gonna get harder for her to hide her problems at home. If she gets thrown out, she'll try running back to me for help, I'm sure.

I guess what's next for me is just making even more distance. Should I even visit her in the hospital this time? The last two times she was hospitalized, I visited her and acted as her advocate, talking to her doctors and case workers. I think I'm going to have to leave it to her housemate this time, just hang back. I guess I'll pick up the phone if she calls, but I really don't want to extend any more energy on her. It's so draining how much energy I spend thinking about her, worrying about her when she lets herself get like this. At least right now I have a couple days where I know where she is, what she's doing, and that she can't get any worse. Sigh. 

[flourdust]

I think your plan to stay disengaged is a good one. It sounds like when she was last hospitalized, you basically went from "visitor" to "rescuer." You want to avoid that level of entanglement.

[babyducks]

How are you Lady Itone?

How are things?

[Lady Itone]

How are you Lady Itone?

How are things?

Thanks for asking. I've had no word on how she's doing in the hospital, or if her family or housemates have heard from her.

I keep picturing her running into my arms, just wailing like a baby. She was in so much pain, and I now she's stuck in that horrible hospital.

I never knew what miserable places psyche wards are until I met her. Our "mental health" system in the U.S. is broken, these are not places that foster healing. They're dreary, the food is disgusting, the staff is overworked, and a pretty young woman is a target for all kinds of nonsense. I hate that I sent her there, but I couldn't help her. I could not devote the hours, the days it would have taken to bring her down from her psychosis, assuming I could even control her. And I'm sure she was dehydrated and hadn't eaten in days--it was beyond what I could do. But I feel sick about it.   

I'm trying to just take it easy, read books. Socializing is a bit hard, I can really only deal with a handful of besties, everyone else I don't want to talk to. But I know I can't keep talking about her to my besties, they're sympathetic but they're sick of hearing this drama it's been almost two years of it. Therapy has never helped me much, I'm pretty self-aware and usually far ahead of the therapist. But I hate being in the grips of this obsession. It's going to be really hard to turn my attention away from her when she does this stuff, which I'm sure on some level is why she does it.

She was the most erotically beautiful woman I've ever been with, and I miss looking at her. Her smile lit me up. Her touch relaxed me and energized me at the same time. But then the memory of this other creature, the feral, wailing banshee, gaunt and dirty, eclipses the love goddess of my memory and it's so confusing and sad. Breakups are hard enough, but add on top of it the guilt and horror of having to put someone in the hospital because of it... .it's hard to bear.

[babyducks]

I'm really sorry LI.    This is hard hard stuff.    You really have my heart felt sympathy.   

what you are going through,   what you've been through is traumatic stuff.    It is going to disrupt your thinking and emotions for a while.     

time will help ease some of the more painful memories.  and you can come here and talk to us as much as you want.   

you didn't put her in the hospital.   her disease did.   you did the best you could under horrible circumstances.

hang in there.   and do what you can to take care of yourself.