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Author Topic: You can't rescue everybody. Maybe you can't rescue anybody  (Read 2540 times)
BeagleGirl
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 571



« Reply #30 on: February 13, 2018, 02:23:06 PM »

Overall,  I feel that if I don't do certain things,  they won't get done. I need to learn that it's ok to let certain things drop. The world isn't going to end.  Maybe this is the curse of the latchkey kid?

My T calls this tendency in me "overfunctioning".  I'm getting much better at recognizing it and pausing when I do.  My success rate at not overfunctioning is not great, but it's improving.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

I think it's really good that you are recognizing the need to learn to let certain things drop, but (putting on my best armchair therapist hat) I wonder if it you might find it easier to let things drop if you understand a bit more about why you have the tendency to pick them up in the first place.  You mention being a latchkey kid and the possibility that has something to do with it.  Let's explore that (said in my best therapist voice). 
BG
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« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2018, 11:22:49 PM »

BG, I can imagine your therapist's voice  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Latchkey kid, I learned to take care of myself from a young age.  Additionally,  my mother.  Thusly, I was hyper-independent from a young age.  Ergo, I didn't need anybody.  Physically, one thing; emotionally,  another. 

That attracted me to my ex in the beginning,  but repulsed her later, like she felt as if she wasn't needed. 
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