Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
Post Questions
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
February 26, 2021, 10:23:44 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Harri
,
Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
I Am Redeemed
,
Mutt
,
Turkish
Help!
Groups
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
You can't rescue everybody. Maybe you can't rescue anybody
Pages:
1
[
2
]
All
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: You can't rescue everybody. Maybe you can't rescue anybody (Read 2387 times)
BeagleGirl
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 571
Re: You can't rescue everybody. Maybe you can't rescue anybody
«
Reply #30 on:
February 13, 2018, 02:23:06 PM »
Quote from: Turkish on February 12, 2018, 11:17:00 PM
Overall, I feel that if I don't do certain things, they won't get done. I need to learn that it's ok to let certain things drop. The world isn't going to end. Maybe this is the curse of the latchkey kid?
My T calls this tendency in me "overfunctioning". I'm getting much better at recognizing it and pausing when I do. My success rate at not overfunctioning is not great, but it's improving.
I think it's really good that you are recognizing the need to learn to let certain things drop, but (putting on my best armchair therapist hat) I wonder if it you might find it easier to let things drop if you understand a bit more about why you have the tendency to pick them up in the first place. You mention being a latchkey kid and the possibility that has something to do with it. Let's explore that (said in my best therapist voice).
BG
Logged
Turkish
Senior Ambassador
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned in Feb 2013.
Posts: 11009
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: You can't rescue everybody. Maybe you can't rescue anybody
«
Reply #31 on:
February 18, 2018, 11:22:49 PM »
BG, I can imagine your therapist's voice
Latchkey kid, I learned to take care of myself from a young age. Additionally, my mother. Thusly, I was hyper-independent from a young age. Ergo, I didn't need anybody. Physically, one thing; emotionally, another.
That attracted me to my ex in the beginning, but repulsed her later, like she felt as if she wasn't needed.
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2021?
Pages:
1
[
2
]
All
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
You can't rescue everybody. Maybe you can't rescue anybody
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
-----------------------------
Miscellaneous
-----------------------------
=> Help Desk
===> Open board
Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
Amethyste
Angie59
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
assumezero
At Bay
Avanzando
Baglady
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaintTheGoat
FaithHopeLove
FindingMe2011
Forgiveness
freespirit
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
hopeandchoices
I Am Redeemed
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Jonthan
Katrinalove
Kwamina
l8kgrl
LLgreen
Longterm
lorymac
lovenature
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Meridius
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
needPeace
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
once removed
Only Human
otherlife
palynne
PeacefulMom
Pedro
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
Sad4Her
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SBBayArea
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Silverhope
Skip
songbirdtwo
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
townhouse
truthbeknown
turtleengine501
Ventak
vinnie77
Violet00
wavewatcher
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zachira
zaqsert
Loading...