Well you say that standing up for you is being "high conflict", I say that it's not high conflict but having a spine. I fear that many people that come to this forum for help and find these "tools" to improve their relationships with BPD people will find years down the road that they completely let go of their "high conflict" (JADE) ways just to realize that their BPD partner has not changed one bit and all they achieved was to be a softer, weaker version of their former shelf.
I was reading this this morning. It's interesting. It's reads a bit like
stand up to a bully. That if you don't JADE, you are cowering.
Let's play that out in a bully situation. A guy walks up to you in a bar, squares off and says,
I saw you making eyes at my wife. Would you JADE in that situation? I didn't know she was your wife? That you were actually looking at the poster on the wall behind her?
No man, you were looking at my wife!Would you then say, I am are nearsighted and can't see that far? She was probably looking at me?
No. You'd either swing or apologize and by the guy a beer. JADE is the cowering. You have seen that guy.
I don't love this analogy - but it makes the point.
