Relationship Over. Sad but relieved

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

She had many BPD type traits. No cheating... .but many of the personality traits were there. It was hard to break free, because of my own problems. She didn't make it any harder than a normal break up.

[Integrated111]

She had many BPD type traits. No cheating... .but many of the personality traits were there. It was hard to break free, because of my own problems. She didn't make it any harder than a normal break up.

[Jeffree]

 

Welcome, Integrated! It sounds like you're safe and satisfied with the resolution.

Can you share a little more about your experience with this person?

How long a relationship was it? What are some of the behaviors that lead you to suspect BPD? What caused you to end it?

Thanks!

J

[Mutt]

Hi Integrated111,

 

Most of the posts that I’ve read from members have been about their expwBPD not giving closure. Do you mean that she gave you closure and that’s why it’s a regular break up?

[valet]

Sorry for your loss, Integrated.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I'd encourage you to share a bit more about your relationship. Talking things through is a pretty effective way to deal with any emotional baggage so that we can avoid making mistakes in the future.

[Turkish]

What was different about this than a "normal breakup" as you say?

[Missingpieces17]

Hi Integrated,

I know the feeling of being sad but relieved it's over. These relationships can take such a toll on our emotional health and mental state. Unfortunately for me, my undiagnosed BPD ex bf saying it was over didn't mean it was over and each time he reaches out to me I feel compelled to respond allowing myself to be drawn back into the cycle over and over, constantly worrying about him because I love him.

Do you feel like you will struggle with moving on? Like mutt said, there doesn't seem to be closure in most of these relationships and that's a struggle for me as well. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. I'm new to the board and the breakup was recent for me so I can relate to the struggle.