So now they entered therapy. Why am I scared they get better sooner?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So now the co-worker drops in to tell me she's divorcing and entering therapy. Totally mishandled this one and engaged her... .

How do I filter the thought that she will get it right first?

Frustrating as I've worked the plan really well. I'm growing and learning, and I'm terrified she will just pick up what she needs, and go forward.

Understand at adult level that the thought process is irrational. But I'd love some feedback from people.

[steppedinone]

So now the co-worker drops in to tell me she's divorcing and entering therapy. Totally mishandled this one and engaged her... .

How do I filter the thought that she will get it right first?

Frustrating as I've worked the plan really well. I'm growing and learning, and I'm terrified she will just pick up what she needs, and go forward.

Understand at adult level that the thought process is irrational. But I'd love some feedback from people.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi steppedinone,

What would happen if she did get better sooner?

Love and light x

[steppedinone]

love and light,

A fair question. She at times questioned the usefulness of it early in our friendship when I shared I had done it on/off for a few years. She gets blindsided by a divorce request from her husband, and all of a sudden gets religion.

Not looking for a bad outcome for anyone here, just venting.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi stepped,

How are you feeling about things since you last posted on this?  Any developments?

Love and light x

[steppedinone]

Harley,


Do not in any way want to imply I don't want her to get better. I do. Just frustrated by the way things have gone since I made the decision to walk on our friendship. And by the fact she could become my boss.

Just sorry I didn't just wish her well,  and get her out of my way as fast as I could. Note: I had been NC for over 90 days when she chose to drop in and surprise me. Engaging her was a mistake on my end. 

And I do understand if I continue to work my plan, HP does what they can to make it all work out.

Thanks for inquiring, and for all you do on this board.

[Harley Quinn]

It's OK to feel frustrated.  I'd be frustrated if my ex was potentially going to be my boss and probably a lot of other emotions too.  How do you feel that working relationship might play out?  I can imagine it is a daunting prospect. 

Breaking NC happens sometimes and either goes positively, or often not unfortunately.  Don't beat yourself up.  These moments hold lessons for us and can serve us in the long run.  What would you do differently in future if such an occasion were to happen again?  What is the plan now for you in your healing?  Where would you like to be if and when you work for her?

Love and light x

[steppedinone]

I've left it in a place where I'm more than good with the relationship being professional only. Back to NC I've gone. I'm viewed very positively in the workplace, so I don't see what happened hurting me in my day to day work. In a lot of ways she will need me more than I will need her.

Won't not see her coming next time. And the encounter has prompted work on my end that will be more positive than the negative that came from this past one.

And if we both get better, than that's a great outcome. I'm pretty sure I'll get there.

Thank you for the kind words.